Wily's
Warriors - Season 2 - All Beef and No Brains
by Darksage (co-written by Naoshi)
Starnik as Quick Man |
Darksage as Crash Man |
Ben as Heat Man |
Cyros as Flash Man |
Akutare as Bubble Man |
Naoshi as Metal Man |
Shadowstrike as Air Man |
Iga as Wood Man |
Narrator: It’s afternoon
at Skull Castle, with Dr. Wily working all morning on his latest master
plan. His Warriors are happily helping him out, as usual.
Iga: I’m bored.
Aku: I’m hungry.
Starnik: I refuse to do anymore
work.
Cyros: You haven’t done a thing
but critique us!
Starnik: Hey, someone has to do it.
Bass: Will you morons stop
bickering and help the doc out?!
Cyros: I said it before and I’ll
say it again, this isn’t a good idea.
Dr. Wily:
This is a perfect plan. You numbskulls couldn’t use any of my
earlier inventions properly, so developing chemical weapons should be a
better, fool-proof solution!
Starnik: First off, all your
previous inventions were either dumb or
stolen from Ben, and secondly, you’re probably getting you ideas out of
a ‘Chemistry for Dummies’ book.
Cyros: It’s actually ‘The Idiot’s
Guide to Chemistry’.
Bass: Quiet fools. We are here to
assist the good doc in whatever he
has in mind… *under his breath* …no matter how idiotic it is.
Dr. Wily:
What was that?
Bass: Nothing, nothing at all!
Aku: So when is our lunch break?
Cyros: *sighs* When the others are
FINALLY done with theirs.
Starnik: I can’t wait. All this
work has made me work up an appetite.
Cyros: UGH!
Dr. Wily:
Will you morons stop arguing me and help me with my chemical
abstracts?!
Cyros: Sorry.
Starnik: Sorry.
Aku: Sorry.
Iga: Sorry.
Naoshi: Sorry.
Cyros: Wait…what are you doing
here Naoshi?! You’re supposed to be on
lunch with the others.
Naoshi: Shadowstrike told
me to get lost.
Starnik: Now you’re found, so get
lost somewhere else. Try the next
county.
Naoshi: But I’m lonely!
Iga: Well, you can stay but don’t
get in the way.
Naoshi: Okay! *wonders
off*
Dr. Wily: Will someone get me the
iodine number seven abstract?
Cyros: Ok. Whose turn is it?
Aku: It’s Starnik’s.
Cyros: Damn…I’ll get it.
*Cyros goes to the table only to see empty vials strewn about*
Naoshi: *belching* Mmm,
those were better than Gatorade!
Cyros: Naoshi! You weren’t
supposed to drink those; they were deadly
chemicals and substances!
Naoshi: I wondered why
they tasted funny…
*suddenly, Naoshi starts shaking and trembling*
Naoshi: I don’t think I
should’ve drunk that.
Starnik: You think?
*without another word, Naoshi’s body melts and molds itself into a
troll, a mannequin, a statue of Elvis eating a pizza, a Mudkip…*
Cyros: Yay!
*…a gumball machine…*
Cyros: Damn it!
*…a pile of Legos, and finally a dairy cow with a metal blade on its
forehead*
Naoshi: *smiles*
Dr. Wily: How could you fools allow
him to drink my formulas?
Aku: We couldn’t keep an eye on
him all the time.
Iga: He seems well though.
Naoshi: *moos, starts grazing on the
carpet*
Starnik: Plus he seems just as
smart as ever.
Dr. Wily: I’ll have to make a cure.
*at this time, the intercom starts buzzing*
Dr. Wily: Bass, answer that.
Bass: Why do I always have to
answer? * picks up and talks into the com
receiver* Hello?
Whiz: *through the com* Bass? Hello?
Bass: What is it Whiz?
Whiz: We have a problem in the
cafeteria.
Bass: We have a bigger one here.
Metalman’s idiotic tendencies turned
himself into a cow.
Whiz: WHAT?! METALMAN IS A COW??!!
Bass: You don’t’ have to scream.
We’re taking care of it.
Whiz: Oh good.
Bass: So what is the problem
there?
Whiz: We ran out of beef here, and
Crashman, Heatman, and Airman were
restless. I think its ok now though.
Bass: That’s good. I didn’t need
to here about a problem with those
morons too.
Whiz: It’s odd. They seemed to run
off once I said it out loud that
Metalman is a cow. I don’t’ know why they did.
Bass: Whiz…YOU’RE AN IDIOT!
*slams the receiver *
Starnik: Like I care, but what was
that about?
Bass: Your three colleagues are
off to carve up the cow! I don’t’ know
what can make my job worse. *sniffs* Oh god, I stepped in…
Naoshi: *smiles*
Starnik: *laughing*
Iga: I’m sure they’d understand if
we talk to them about it.
Aku: I don’t think we can talk
them out of it.
Cyros: I agree. I don’t think
anything will come between them and a
burger, dead or alive, especially Ben.
Dr. Wily: I hate you metallic
imbeciles! You four take Metalman out to
the yard and protect him, since I need no distractions. Bass will help
me make a cure. Also, don’t screw this up!
Starnik: Like we would care if he
is made into hamburger. He’s never
looked better if you asked me.
Iga: He is more content now too.
Dr. Wily: If you don’t protect him,
I’ll make the next Metalman even
more obedient.
Aku: Do you mean dumber?
Cyros: WHAT?! That can’t be
possible!
Iga: That wouldn’t be good.
Starnik: Fine, fine. We’ll do it.
Dr. Wily: First things first. Bass,
I’m thirsty for some warm milk, and
I want it fresh!
Naoshi: *moos*
Bass: I hate my life.
Around the same time in a helicopter…
Lobe: I wish I wasn’t fed up with my
own ideas to capture Freakazoid.
It’s getting harder to steal from other scientists now days since no
one seems to have something worth taking for my own. All I need is just
one thing of interest for my plan to work. *sighs* I guess I better go
to the last stop on my list.
Later, in Skull Castle’s back yard…
Naoshi: MOO! *grazes on Wily’s flower
garden*
Aku: This is really boring.
Iga: It’s kind of interesting to
see what Naoshi will eat next,
honestly.
Naoshi: *eats gravel*
Aku: It’s still boring.
Starnik: *laying in a lawn chair*
We’re out in the sun and not doing a
thing. What else would you want?
Cyros: There are a million things
I can say, but I’ll let it go.
Starnik: Good for you.
Meanwhile, in a helicopter the sky…
Lobe: I’m really getting desperate
coming here. There is nothing of
importance this quack has that Freakazoid can possibly-oh, what’s this?
*Lobe looks down, watching Wily’s bots, and a cow eating gravel*
Lobe: My word, that just might work. I
guess Dr. Wily shouldn’t have
been kicked out of the Evil Geniuses Country Club after all.
Back on the ground…
Iga: Uh, guys? I think I see
something, or someone, sneaking behind
Naoshi.
Starnik: Huh? Oh, that’s just
Darksage.
Iga: Yes, but he’s carrying a meat
cleaver while wearing a butcher’s
apron and hat.
Cyros: Darksage, what are you up
to?
Darksage: *hides the cleaver
behind his back* Well…nothing, nothing at
all!
*Heatman enters behind him, wearing a hockey mask and wielding a
chainsaw*
Ben: Hey, what’s the hold up? Are
we having steak or what?
Iga: What are you two really up to?
Darksage: *continues to hide the
weapon* Nothing I said!
Aku: Dressed like a butcher and
psychopathic killer?
Darksage: …costume party?
Iga: I believe that, if you were
going as the village people.
Cyros: Well, here comes the
village idiot.
*Airman enters, wearing a top hat, a patched up suit jacket, and
wielding a sledgehammer with a board nailed to it*
Shadowstrike: Very funny,
Flash-er-man. Why don’t you go put on a
trench coat and expose yourself to a waitress at Hooters?
Cyros: Screw you air can! How can
you even think of butchering Naoshi?
That’s cannibalism!
Ben: I’m a robot, he’s a cow. How’s
that cannibalism?
Starnik: That’s a valid point.
Cyros: You’re not helping!
Iga: *looks in the sky* Hey guys…
Aku: If you kill Naoshi, Dr. Wily
said he’d make the next Metalman
worse than Naoshi.
Cyros: Yes, brain-wise.
Ben: Let me check if I care…nope.
Shadowstrike: I’ve always wanted to
look into his big, shinning eyes,
and then nail him with a sledgehammer!
Darksage: I’m dressed like this
for a reason, and I’m not going away
without having beef
ribs!
Iga: Uh, guys, I think you should
see…
Ben: You can have the ribs, I’m
having steak!
Shadowstrike: Hold it that means I
get stuck with the rump! As far as I
know, his brain could be there!
Cyros: You can discuss this as
much as you’d like, but no one is eating
him.
*at this time, a metal claw comes out of the helicopter, grabbing
Naoshi while the others are turned away*
Iga: Guys, this is very…
Starnik: Quiet Iga, this is too
fun not to watch!
Shadowstrike: We’re
having beef if you like it or not, crazy lady!
Cyros: No you’re not, and don’t
call me that!
Iga: GUYS!
All: What?
Iga: *points up*
*All look up to see a helicopter above them, carrying Naoshi off
underneath it*
Starnik: Why didn’t you say
something sooner?
Iga: *face palms*
Naoshi: *smiles*
Aku: Why is Naoshi smiling,
doesn’t he know he’s being kidnapped?
Shadowstrike: He doesn’t care; he
likes flying, except when I push him
out a window for some reason.
Ben: I hate it when my meal flies
off.
Cyros: We need to go after him.
Shadowstrike: That’s what I was
thinking too. Let’s go to the jet.
Cyros: Oh no, we’re using the jet.
Darksage: I think who ever gets to
it first should use it.
*all of a sudden, Wily’s jet flies above, lowering a ladder*
Starnik: *flying the jet* Never
challenge me to a speed contest, no
hands!
*Akutare, Iga, and Cyros go up the ladder as they go after the
helicopter*
Ben: Someone better have a good
idea before I decide to give my
chainsaw a workout!
Darksage: I’ll hotwire one of
Wily’s UFOs.
Shadowstrike: You know how to do
that?
Darksage: *turns and stares*
Shadowstrike: Oh yeah, nevermind.
Shortly after, in the air space above the town...
Naoshi: *moos*
Lobe: Patience, we will soon be at your
new home and my best trap I
have conceived yet!
Cyros: So how are we going to get
Naoshi?
Iga: Blow up the helicopter?
Cyros: ...But wouldn't that kill
him?
Lobe: *looking back* Aw poppycock! *on
his radio* I took this piece of
livestock fair and square while you won't looking, so let me be!
Iga: See what happens when no one
listens to me?!
Starnik: Oh quit complaining!
Aku: I have an idea, why don't we
cut the metal claw off?
Iga: How are we gonna do that?
Cyros: Starnik, don't you have
Quick
Boomerangs? Maybe you can somehow cut the
metal claw off and free Naoshi.
Starnik: That's a good idea and
all but I'm the one flying this thing!
Aku: I can fly it.
Starnik: Alright
*Aku takes over the jet while Starnik aims his weapon at the metal claw*
Starnik: Here goes nothing. *fires
off a boomerang but misses by a few
inches* Damn, it's too far!
*the boomerang hits a building's window; shattering it*
Lobe: You missed me! Nya nya!
*the boomerang returns and hits Cyros*
Cyros: OUCH!
Starnik: Heh...um, oops?
Iga: *sighs* How can this get any
worse?
*behind the jet, a poorly controled saucer appears*
Shadowstrike: *on the radio* Hi
guys. So...what the hell do you think
you're doing?
Cyros: Dammit!
Starnik: Oh great. They must
really want their meal.
Ben: *reving up his chain saw*
You're damn right horn head!
Iga: And they have Ben too!
Aku: What do ya' suppose we do
now?
*the saucer flies next to the jet and rams it*
Shadowstrike: Out of our way, we
want a shot!
Cyros: We won't let you, fan boy.
Darksage: *while flying the
saucer* Hey, we have Ben and we're not
afraid to use him!
Iga: *panic* What do we do? What do
we do? I don't wanna die!
Starnik: We stand and fight!
Cyros: Are you crazy?!
Starnik: How so?
Cyros: Starnik, must we remind you
that Ben wouldn't even give a second
thought of killing us?
Iga: This is Ben we're talking
about.
Ben: *on the top of the saucer* I
WANT MY STEAK DAMN IT! *holds out a
grenade*
Iga: Eep!
Shadowstrike: Ram them out of the
way!
Darksage: You got it.
Starnik: Aku, quick! Move the jet
to the right!
Aku: Don't know if I can do it on
time!
*the jet moves aside at the last second as the saucer moves in*
Cyros: Phew...
Starnik: That was close!
Iga: Uh...we still have a problem!
*points at the saucer and the
helicopter*
Darksage: All clear!
Ben: I want my meat bastard!! *gets
ready to throw the grenade*
Starnik: Aku, ram them!
Aku: Alright!
*the jet rams into the saucer, causing Ben’s throw to go off target *
Lobe: Missed again!!
Shadowstrike: Damn...
Ben: At least I got Six Flags!
*the jet then moves to the right and flies further*
Iga: Huh?
Starnik: Iga! Think quick! *throws
him into the saucer*
Iga: What?!
Starnik: Destroy them! MAKE US
PROUD!
Iga: Starnik, this is insane! I
can't take on them!
Starnik: Then you need a partner!
*throws Cyros*
Cyros: What the hell, Starnik?!
Ben: *to Iga and Cyros* What the
hell do you want??!
Iga: Mommy!
*Ben tosses them back, causing the jet to lose momentum and having to
back off*
Cyros: Damn you Starnik!
Starnik: Gah!
Aku: Smart plan there.
Shadowstrike: Now it's us and Lobe.
Lobe: What are you going to do, throw
more useless projectiles at me?
Ben: No, just this asshole! *pulls
out a rocket launcher*
Lobe: Oh crud.
*the rocket clips the helicoptor's tail and ends up blowing up a
McClownman’s*
Shadowstrike: Ack, you missed!
Darksage: Yeah, but he has to land
now, hold on!
Starnik: Hey, it looks like that
helicopter is going to land.
Iga: At least Ben missed and didn't
end up blowing up Naoshi.
*the helicopter lands in a nearby air field, with the other two parties
close behind*
Lobe: *getting out* Damn, they damaged
my helicopter. These things
aren’t easy to steal.
Naoshi: *moos*
*the other groups land as well, with Starnik’s coming out first*
Lobe: Oh drat. I take it you fools want
to get involved in fisticuffs
now?
Aku: Yeah and-Hey, nice hat!
Lobe: I know, it make me look rather
fetching, don’t you think?
Aku: I know, I have one too!
*puts on his fedora*
Lobe: My word that is smashing.
Starnik: Hey ladies are we
discussing fashion tips or are we going to
take care of business?
Akutare
and Lobe: Fine.
Cyros: Well, just hand over the
cow and no one gets hurt.
Ben: Except you!
Darksage: We’re not going anywhere.
Starnik: Ah crap.
Shadowstrike: Just step aside and
let us take the genius out to pasture.
Naoshi: *smiles*
Iga: I don’t think he knows what
that means.
Aku: That’s no different than
before.
Cyros: Just stand down , air can,
and let us handle this.
Shadowstrike: We WILL be fed!
Lobe: Can I interject for a-
All: YOU STAY OUT OF THIS!
Aku: Naoshi has to be brought
back to normal!
Cyros: I’ll take care of this Aku.
*to Shadowstrike* You are not
getting to Naoshi.
Shadowstrike: I’ll knock you out of
the way crazy lady.
Cyros: I’d like to see you try.
Lobe: *to himself* Now is my chance.
*the Lobe sneaks off while the others are distracted, shoving Naoshi
into a mail truck*
Iga: Uh, guys?
Shadowstrike: Why don’t you go iron
your Pikachu boxers.
*the Lobe drives off*
Iga: Guys?
Cyros: I’ll take that sledgehammer
and shove it up your-
Iga: GUYS!
All: WHAT?!
Cyros: What the…?! He got away
with Naoshi again!
Starnik: Why didn’t you say
something again?
Iga: UGH!
Starnik: *picks it up* It’s a
matchbook with an address.
Aku: Perfect, we can find Naoshi
now.
Shadowstrike: Hey!
Darksage: Hand it over to us!
Starnik: Finders keepers, losers!
Ben: *holds a baseball bat under
Starnik’s chin* What was that?
Starnik: Like I said, here you go!
*hands over the matchbook*
Ben: That’s better. C’mon, we have
beef to roast!
*Ben, Shadowstrike, and Darksage fly off in the saucer*
Cyros: Well, that’s just great.
You pretty much handed them Naoshi on a
silver platter!
Starnik: Hey, I’m not only fast on
my feet. I changed the matchbook on
mister Zippo. They’re well on their way to the next county.
Iga: Well, let’s get going then.
Later on, outside a warehouse…
Aku: Are we sure this is the
place?
Starnik: It’s the address on the
matchbook.
Cyros: I wish there was a clue.
Aku: How about that? *points up*
*on top of the warehouse, there is a flashing neon sign saying “Home of
the World’s Dumbest Cow”
Iga: I guess subtlety isn’t the
Lobe’s strong point.
Cyros: It’s good the others are
out of the picture, but what do we do
now to get Naoshi back?
Starnik: I’ll come up with a fool
proof plan before you know it.
Iga: Are you sure the others won’t
get involved?
Starnik: You worry too much. If my
thinking is correct, they should be
arriving at their ‘goal’ just about now…
About the same time, outside a Gasigo gas station…
Darksage: Are you sure this is the
place?
Shadowstrike: *looks at the match
book* This is the address, all right.
Ben: Damn it, he must have switched
match books on me.
Darksage: We should have known not
to trust him. I almost don’t blame
him or the others for not wanting us to butcher Naoshi into fine
quality meat products.
Shadowstrike: Almost is the key word.
Darksage: Exactly.
Ben: When I get my hands on that
horn head…
Shadowstrike: Well, since we’re here
we might as well fill up the gas
tank. Do you have Wily’s American Express card ‘sage?
Darksage: Of course, I never leave
home without it.
Ben: Fine. Hey you, with the dopey
grin, fill-er up.
Gasigo
Attendant #1: Did you say ‘fill-er up’? *whistles*
*Music starts playing out of nowhere as four more attendants come out*
Gasigo
Attendants: *singing* If you want service with a smile, we will
go that extra mile-
Gasigo
Attendant #2: We clean windows…
Gasigo
Attendant #3: …fill the tank…
Gasigo
Attendant #4: …wax the hood…
Gasigo
Attendant #5: …no need to thank!
Gasigo
Attendants: Gasigo, we’re at your service! Gasigo, it’s our
purpose!
Shadowstrike: My ears! My poor, poor
ears!
Darksage: For the love of
humanity, make it stop!
Gasigo
Attendants: Gasigo, we love your car! Gasigo, we’re never far!
Ben: Starnik will DIE for this!
Gasigo
Attendants: G-A-S, I-G-O, Gasigo…
Back outside the warehouse…
Cyros: Well, at least they’re
getting what they deserve.
Iga: That’s nice and all, but how
are we going to get in this place?
Starnik: I think I have a
plan.
Ten minutes later…
Cyros: *dressed as a ballerina*
Before I start yelling incoherently,
I’ll ask this one more time…how the hell is this going to work?!
Starnik: *sighs* I’ll explain
again. You ring the doorbell in the
front, and introduce yourself as the dancing queen of France. While you
dance, Iga rolls in like the log he is. When he asks if you’re a
lumberjack, you say no then Aku will burst in dressed like one while
holding an ax. While you act like a tree hugger and fight with Aku over
rather or not Iga should be chopped to pieces, I will sneak in through
the back and save Naoshi. It’s fool proof.
Iga: What about an escape plan?
Starnik: I’ll leave with Naoshi
through the back while you three keep
them distracted, of course.
Cyros: Hold it! What if he notices
Naoshi is gone and tries to kill us
after you leave?
Starnik: That’s a risk I’m willing
to take.
Iga: Honestly, are we doing this
because this a legitimate plan or is
it you like seeing us embarrass ourselves?
Starnik: Uh…yes. Now, let’s go!
Iga: Wait, where’s Akutare?
Aku: *opening a window from the
inside* Hey guys. The back door by the
loading docks was unlocked, so I snuck in through there.
Cyros and Iga: *stares at
Starnik*
Starnik: What? That was plan B!
Soon after…
Iga: This place gives me the creeps.
Aku: I do like the plush
carpeting, but the lighting is left to be
desired.
Starnik: Yeesh, it's really too
dark in here. If only someone would
"use" their head. *looks at Cyros*
Cyros: Huh? Oh...*head lights up
like a flash light* You know...I've
always forgotten I can do that. Wished I've known this sooner back when
Shadowstrike used to prank me whenever there was a black out.
Iga: Uh...Guys?
*the light reveals the entire room and with that it also reveals the
Warriors are surrounded by weapons*
Aku: Oh...
Starnik: I told you Plan A would
of have been better!
Lobe: I was keeping my arsenal for
Freakazoid, but if I must destroy
you all to get to him, so be it.
Cyros: At least it can’t get worse.
*at this time, Darksage, Shadowstrike, and Ben crash through the wall*
Cyros: I have to stop saying that.
Shadowstrike: All right, no one
move! We are taking back Naoshi now and-
Iga: I think you should have a look
around.
Shadowstrike: Well I-*sees the
weapons* oh shit.
Lobe: I’ve had enough of your family
reunions. I’m going to finish you
off once and for all then I’ll use your four-legged friend to lure
Freakazoid here!
Cyros: May I ask why you are going
through all this trouble just for a
guy in red pajamas?
Lobe: That guy in the red pajamas, as
you call him, is a super being
I’m inclined to destroy, seeing that I am his greatest nemesis.
Shadowstrike: Oh come on, you’re not
Freakazoid’s greatest nemesis.
Lobe: Well if there is someone more
menacing, I’d like to know right
now!
Shadowstrike: Here’s a hint.
*Airman puts on Heatman’s hockey mask and holds out a candle*
Lobe: Wait, Candle Jack? You think
Candle Jack is a better villain than
me? I know having an abnormal sized brain as my head isn’t going to
intimidate everyone, but Candle Jack is like a ludicrous boogieman. You
can’t be serious that Candle Jack is-
All: …
Lobe: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?
Candle Jack: *dropping in
upside down* So, who called?
All: *points
at the Lobe*
Lobe: I didn’t say your name! I
said…auto jack! That’s it, auto jack!
You know, the name of that new service center. I didn’t say your name!
Shadowstrike: Who’s name?
Lobe: His name. *points at Candle Jack*
Darksage: Who’s he?
Lobe: Ha! You’re not going to trick me
into falling for that old
gag.
Starnik: Now what are you talking
about?
Lobe: You know full well I’m talking
about you’re amateurish
efforts of making me say Candle Jack’s name while he’s…oh fiddle faddle.
*Candle Jack lassos the Lobe and floats away with him in tow*
Shadowstrike: Hey, one second. I
have a question I’ve wanted to ask.
Candle Jack: Yes, what is
it? I’m on a tight schedule.
Shadowstrike: Why do you do mass
kidnappings?
Candle Jack: I don’t
know. It’s always been fun.
Lobe: I’ll get you for this you robotic
rejects, I’ll have my revenge!
Candle Jack: Why do they
never go quietly?
*Candle Jack and the Lobe disappear from sight*
Shadowstrike: Woo! I’m awesome!
Cyros: Okay, you saved us all.
Shadowstrike: Yes, and for that, we
get Naoshi and the jet.
Darksage and Ben: YEAH!
Starnik: *halfway across the room,
holding Naoshi’s leash* I don’t
think so.
Darksage: Give him to us, you owe
us.
Cyros: Yes, we owe you one, but
not until Naoshi changes back.
Ben: If you don’t hand him over
right now, I’ll fry you three before I
barbeque our steaks.
Naoshi: *smiles*
Cyros: I guess we’re at a
stalemate.
Iga: Does anyone have an idea?
Shadowstrike: I do. Let’s have a
race to it, you three *gestures at
Iga, Cyros, and Aku* against us three. Winner gets the jet and Naoshi.
Iga: I guess that’s fair.
Darksage: *whispers* How is it
supposed to help us?
Shadowstrike: *whispers* We run at
two.
Darksage: *whispers* Got’cha.
Shadowstrike: Ready?
Cyros: Not really…
Ben: Too bad!
Shadowstrike: Let’s go in 5…4…3…
Starnik: *from in the jet* I got
it!
Darksage: We really need to
rethink our plans next time.
*Iga, Cyros, and Akutare get in the jet, along with Naoshi*
Starnik: Bye suckers!
Ben: You better not leave us behind
again.
Cyros: Why should we let you guys
come with us? You were trying to eat
Naoshi!
Darksage: We were only joking!
Shadowstrike: Don’t worry, they
won’t leave us, they like us too much.
*turns to the jet* Right guys?
*the three watch the others take off in the jet with Naoshi on board*
Shadowstrike: I guess they would
leave us.
Ben: Damn them!
Darksage: They left us again.
Shadowstrike: It’s all right, we
still have the UFO.
*they look over to the UFO, just in time to see it blow up*
Darksage: I think Ben took care of
that.
Ben: Sorry, I had to vent.
Shadowstrike: Great, now we need to
find a way to get back.
Darksage: We can hijack the Lobe’s
copter, it’s not like he’ll be using
it anytime soon.
Shadowstrike: What will we tell Wily
about the UFO?
Ben: Just make some crap up.
Darksage: We’ll just have to think
of someone to blame it on.
Shadowstrike: Hmm, how about Cave
Guy?
Darksage: Works for me.
Shortly after they leave the warehouse…
Freakazoid: Aw, nut
bunnies! The world’s dumbest cow is gone, and I was
so looking forward to it.
Cosgrove: Cheer up kid,
there will be more brainless livestock to see
soon.
Freakazoid: I hope you’re
right Cosgrove.
Cosgrove: Hey Freakazoid,
do you want to leave here and go watch a
Canadian cloud man eat a quadruple decker fudgie sundae at the Ice
Cream Palace two towns over?
Freakazoid: DO I?!
Later, back in Wily’s lab…
Dr. Wily: *pours serum on Naoshi*
This should do it. It worked on Bass.
Starnik: Really? What was he?
Bass: You don’t want to
know…never want to know…
Naoshi: *back as Metalman* That was
fun!
Dr. Wily: Now can you please keep him
out of trouble.
Cyros: We’ll try our best.
Naoshi: What should I do
now?
Starnik: Whatever, I don’t care.
Naoshi: Cool, I’ll go out
and play
with cars! *leaves*
All: *stare
at Starnik*
Starnik: What?
*Shadowstrike, Darksage and Ben walk in*
Shadowstrike: Was that the genius
back in his old form we walked past?
Iga: Yeah, it is.
Darksage: I guess it’s another
meatless Tuesday.
Cyros: It serves you right.
Starnik: I don’t care, all I know
is I better get all the respect I
deserve after saving the day.
Ben: I’m happy you mentioned that,
horn head. I have a little matter to
discuss with you concerning a gas station. *cracks knuckles*
Starnik: It was a joke! So what if
I made you listen to probably three
or four choruses of the Gasigo song?
Ben: Try sixteen!
Starnik: Ok, bad point. Come on,
can’t we just talk it out?
Ben: Try talking your way out of
this!
*Ben throws a full vial at Starnik, breaking and spilling its contents
onto the scarlet speedster*
Starnik: I hope this doesn’t ruin
my beautiful complexion!
*Starnik turns into a lamp post, the latest edition of People magazine,
Paula Abdul, a sack of jelly beans, and finally, a Torchic*
Starnik: *as a Torchic*
Torchic?
Cyros: A POKEMON!
Ben, Darksage and
Shadowstrike: A
POULTRY!
*Starnik bolts through the doorway, with the three carnivores and the
poke-maniac running after*
Dr. Wily: Woodman and Bubbleman, get
Quickman back here this instant!
Iga: Can it wait? We had a long day.
Aku: There’s also antidote left
too.
Starnik: *running in the hall*
TORCHIC!
Ben: *running by * I claim the
breast!
Darksage: *running* I’ll take the
thighs and legs!
Shadowstrike: *running* Why do I get
stuck with the wings?!
Cyros: *after all of them* Come
back little Torchick, come back!
Iga: *sighs* It’s never a dull
moment.
Aku: I’m starting to realize that.
THE END