Wily’s Warriors – Season 2 – Enter the Metal Trio

by Flash Man

Stuck dead center of the Arizona desert lays an unnamed facility. It has no name because it is not meant to be found. It is not meant to be found because it is a prison. A prison, holding the most dangerous of criminals, so they may be forgotten by society. No man or machine has ever escaped from this secluded jail. Not now... not ever.

(The unnamed facility goes up in a gigantic fireball)

...nevermind.

(From the flaming ruins of the prison three figures walk forth. Though varying in size and shape, all share two major details; humanoid bodies, and round heads with curved spikes on the back)

Metal Sonic: Rejoice, my brothers! For we have slaughtered our human captors, and are now free to punish our enemies!

Silver Sonic: Question.

Metal Sonic: Speak.

Silver Sonic: If we had our weapons systems all this time, why didn’t we break out years ago?

Metal Sonic: ...

Silver Sonic: Well?

Metal Sonic: Shut up! We have better things to worry about right now.

Mecha Sonic: Like how we’re gonna smear that lousy creator of ours when we find him?

Metal Sonic: *cackles evilly* Precisely.

Mecha Sonic: Aw yeah, this is gonna be sweet. Right, Silver?

Silver the Hedgehog: *pops up* Did someone just mention me!?

Metal Trio: ...

Metal Sonic: Who the hell are you?

Silver the Hedgehog: Wah, I’m not popular! ;_; *runs off*

Silver Sonic: ...that was unusual.

Metal Sonic: A minor annoyance. Come, my brothers! Let us pay a visit to the good doctor, shall we?

Silver, Mecha: Oh yeah...

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

(Sometime later, Metal Sonic and his fellow robot Sonics have reached their birthplace: the sinister laboratory of Dr. Robotnik. However, everything is in complete ruins!)

Silver Sonic: The heck? Everything’s destroyed!

Mecha Sonic: Dang it! We didn’t start a ruckus yet!

Metal Sonic: Curious... just what has occurred here?

(Metal Sonic walks up to a nearby computer and accesses the database. He scans the screen for a short while until he finds what he is looking for)

Metal Sonic: *reading* “-through use the Chaos Emerald’s unique space-warping capabilities, I should be able to...” Blast!

(Metal Sonic slams his fist down in rage)

Metal Sonic: If these figures are correct, the doctor either blasted himself into nothingness or into the future!

Mecha Sonic: Meaning?

Metal Sonic: We can’t take revenge on him!

Silver Sonic: Really? Aw...

Metal Sonic: Do not fret, my metallic brother. Our desire for revenge can still be quenched.

Mecha Sonic: How?

(Metal Sonic reaches into a secret compartment and pulls out an old newspaper clipping: “S6 and MHUX tackle the Eggman!”)

Metal Sonic: The Sinister Six... and Maverick Hunter Unit X... we shall strike them down! Come, let us travel to Monsteropolis and search for their bases!)

Silver, Mecha: Right!

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

(Even later, Metal Sonic waits in the forests outside the city. He impatiently taps his foot as he awaits the arrival of his brothers)

Metal Sonic: Blasted mechanisms. What is taking so long?

(To Metal’s relief, Silver Sonic and Mecha Sonic fly into view seconds later and land)

Metal Sonic: Well? What have you discovered?

Mecha Sonic: Long story short... *fidgets* The Sinister Six disbanded.

Metal Sonic: WHAT?

Mecha Sonic: Twice, in fact. They’re gone for good now.

(Furious, Metal turns to his stocky brother)

Metal Sonic: What about those time-displaced reploids? Unit X?

Silver Sonic: Same story. Found their base, but it looked like it was abandoned for years now.

Metal Sonic: Blast! *clenches first* To be deprived of the revenge that we rightfully deserved! Now what are we to do?

Mecha Sonic: You know... we could try, well... taking over the world, or something.

(Metal Sonic perks up at the suggestion)

Metal Sonic: I find that idea quite alluring, Mecha. Good thinking.

Mecha Sonic: No prob.

Metal Sonic: I can see it now! *slices air* We will take revenge on this world, turning the populace into our slaves, creating an empire that will surpass all those that fell before us!

Silver Sonic: Oh yeah! I’m really liking the sound of this!

Mecha Sonic: Me too. But we still need a base, or something, before we can do anything.

Silver Sonic: Maybe we can clean up the doctor’s old place?

Metal Sonic: That scrap hole? No.

(Metal Sonic turns dramatically and gazes off into the distance)

Metal Sonic: I have a much more... suitable local in mind...

(Meanwhile, several hundred miles away, the evil genius Dr. Wily is on a rampage of his own)

Wily: $&#* $&#* $&#*!!!

Naoshi: Ah! My virgin ears!

Shadowstrike: You’ve had worse, Blade Brain.

Wily: WHO ATE THE LAST OF THE WAFFELS!?

(Naoshi slowly gazes at the half-eaten waffle in his hand)

Naoshi: ... *gulps* Uh oh.

Shadowstrike: Never mind what I said. Have fun! *runs off*

(Wily spots the waffle in Naoshi’s hand, pauses, then grins evilly)

Wily: Oh Metalman... I have a job for you.

Naoshi: Aw nuts.

(Shadowstrike walks away, laughing. He enters the nearby rec room where everyone else, minus Ben, are lounging around)

Cyros: Okay, you’re laughing, so that means something bad happened, doesn’t it?

Shadowstrike: I don’t see what’s so bad about the Doc using Metal for one of his “experiments.”

Cyros: ...you’re kidding, right?

Shadowstrike: What’s it to you, Crazy Lady?

Cyros: *sighs angrily*

Starnik: Eh, I'm sure Naoshi will be fine. He’s been through worse.

Darksage: Like the time he got run down by that steamroller-

Iga: -or the time we got devoured by that Kraken-

Cinder: Remember that time he was almost sacrificed by that crazed cult?

Shadowstrike: What the hell? Cyke, that never happened.

Cyros: Uh, I didn’t say anything.

Cinder: What is WRONG with you guys!?

Starnik: Turn the A/C down, will yah? It’s making too much noise.

Cinder: *walking away* Maybe I should just quit...

(Just then, a large explosion rocks the entire fortress!)

Starnik: Whoa! *falls*

Shadowstrike: Alright, what happened this time?

Cyros: It sounded like it came from Wily’s lab!

Shadowstrike: Oh. In that case, it must have been Naoshi. As usual.

(The team hears Wily scream for help from down the hallway)

Iga: Then why’s Wily screaming for help?

Shadowstrike: Because he wants attention.

Cyros: Maybe we should actually, you know, find out?

Shadowstrike: Find then. Go check it out.

Cyros: I was thinking all of us.

Shadowstrike: Well I don’t feel like it, baldy.

Cyros: “Baldy!?”

(Starnik zips up between the two, separating them)

Starnik: Alright, calm down you two. Let’s just see what the Doc is screaming about, alright?

(The Warriors agree and make haste to Wily’s laboratory. Upon arriving, they see him cowering in a corner, with Naoshi in pieces on the floor)

Darksage: Well, isn’t this a surprise.

Naoshi: Hi guys!

Cinder: Yeesh, what happened to you?

Naoshi: Well, Wily had taken out this big, long, plastic-

Shadowstrike: No! No, ugh, just, skip to the end, please...

Starnik: Yeah, what blew up? I mean, besides you.

Metal Sonic: That would be our doing, fools!

Warriors: !!!

(The Metal Trio stand nearby a large hole in the wall of their creation)

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

Cyros: Oh, snap!

Starnik: Whoa, this is unexpected.

Shadowstrike: Who the hell are these freaks?

Metal Sonic: Attention, you worthless scrap piles! I am Metal Sonic. And these are my mechanical brethren, Silver and Mecha Sonic.

Silver Sonic: Heya punks.

Mecha Sonic: Yo.

Wily: Wait a minute... aren’t you Dr. Robotnik’s creations?

Metal Sonic: Correct.

Wily: But- but he's dead! Why are you barging into my fortress!?

Metal Sonic: It is simple, human. We here to take it from you!

Wily: WHAT!?

Mecha Sonic: See, we’ve been in prison ever since we got captured by the government. And that no good creator of ours left us to rot!

Silver Sonic: But now we’ve escaped! And with our creator gone, nothing will be able to hold us back-

Metal Sonic: *raises arms dramatically* As we TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

Darksage: Man these guys like to laugh.

Metal Sonic: *points* No one mocks our simultaneous laughter!

Shadowstrike: Can we mock your over-dramatic gestures then?

Metal Sonic: *raises arms* No!

Shadowstrike: You’re no fun.

Metal Sonic: *waves arms* THAT IS NOT THE POINT!

Wily: No, it’s not! The point is that I’M taking over the world, and you’re not taking over my fortress!

Mecha Sonic: Oh yeah? Gonna try and stop us, old man?

Wily: Oh, but it’s not I that will be stopping you! *turns to the Warriors* Get rid of these home wreckers!

Starnik: Eh, okay. We were bored anyway.

(The Warriors begin to advance on the Metal Trio)

Metal Sonic: Hmph. You act like you’re actually a match for us.

Shadowstrike: *glares* What’d you say?

Iga: I think we’re more than a match for you bozos!

Naoshi: *fully repaired* Yeah!

Mecha Sonic: ! Weren’t you just in pieces a moment ago?

Naoshi: Oh, Mr. Whiz fixed me up!

Mr. Whiz: *bobs his head, snaps his fingers* Oh yeah, that’s right! Uh huh!

Metal Trio: ...

Metal Sonic: And I thought our creator was a loon.

Shadowstrike: If you think that’s bad, you should see Crazy Lady over here.

Cyros: Hey!

Metal Sonic: Enough of this banter! Silver, Mecha! Evict our hosts this instant!

Silver Sonic: Can do-

Mecha Sonic: Wait a minute; why do we have to do the work?

Metal Sonic: Because I’m the leader!

Mecha Sonic: And what makes YOU the leader?

Metal Sonic: *sparkles with electricity* BECAUSE I’M THE MOST SUPERIOR MECHANICAL LIFE FORM IN THE WORLD, THAT’S WHY!!!

(A large plasma blasts slams into Metal Sonic and sends him flying out the hole)

Metal Sonic: BLASTED IRONY! *crashes*

Silver Sonic: Hey, what gives?

Bass: *appears* If anyone is the superior mechanical life form, it’s me!

Wily: About time you showed up, Bass! What took you!?

Bass: I was busy.

Treble: *growls*

Bass: Fine, WE were busy.

(Starnik raises an eyebrow at the ebony armored robot)

Starnik: Uh... what is that supposed to imply?

Bass: *sweats* Uh... your face!

Starnik: Hey, now that was just uncalled for.

Wily: Idiots! Stop arguing and get rid of these pests!

Starnik, Bass: Alright already! Yeesh!

Cinder: Don’t worry guys, I’m ready to fight!

Iga: Did you guys hear that?

Naoshi: Hear what?

Silver, Mecha: *sweatdrop*

Silver Sonic: Are these guys for real?

(With a roar of fury, Metal Sonic flies back through the hole)

Metal Sonic: My patience is at an end! *glows with energy* I WILL claim this fortress as my own, and you will NOT stop me!!!

Starnik: Oh yeah?

Metal Sonic: Yeah!

Starnik: Oh yeah!?

Metal Sonic: YEAH!!!

Starnik: OH YEAH!?

Wily: SHUT UP AND FIGHT ALREADY!!!

Shadowstrike: ALRIGHT ALREADY YOU OLD COOT!

Darksage: YEAH!

Naoshi: I DON’T KNOW WHAT WE’RE YELLING ABOUT!

Starnik: CHARGE!!!

Cyros: But-

(Everyone minus Cyros and Wily charge at the Metal Trio)

Everyone: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

(Five minutes later...)

Metal Sonic: -and stay out!

(The fortress doors slam shut. The defeated Warriors, Bass, Treble and Whiz lay down in a heap outside. Wily looks at them in contempt)

Wily: You... are all worthless.

Cyros: ...what just happened!?

Starnik: Give me a minute to think of something and I’ll tell you.

Cinder: I know what happened! They-

Mr. Whiz: Oh my god, I think I broke a nail!

Shadowstrike: What nails? You’re a robot!

Metal Sonic: *loudspeaker* Didn’t I tell you all to scram!?

(Large turrets pop out from the walls and aim at everyone)

Everyone: !!!

(In a flash, they all run for it. Inside Wily’s fortress, Metal Sonic and his brothers celebrate)

Metal Sonic: Rejoice, my brothers! Wily’s fortress is ours!

Silver Sonic: Woo!

Mecha Sonic: Oh yeah, we are SO going to take over the world!

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

...

Mecha Sonic: I think they’re right about the laughing, though.

Metal Sonic: Shut up and go fix that hole you made.

Mecha Sonic: I thought Silver made that one.

Silver the Hedgehog: *pops up with teary eyes* Am I popular now???

Metal Sonic: Ah! You again!?

Silver Sonic: Stop following us!

(Silver Sonic punches Silver out the hole in the wall)

Metal Sonic: Now, fix it before that... thing comes back!

Mecha Sonic: *sighs* I’ll get right on it.

(Sometime later, in Monsteropolis, Wily and his minions have regrouped in an abandoned warehouse)

Wily: Of all the lousy... thrown out of my own fortress! How humiliating! The other super villains will have a field day with this!

Mr. Whiz: Hey, cheer up Doc. *grasps his shoulders* You seem tense. I’ll give you a shoulder rub.

Wily: *knocks Whiz away* Not now, you freak!

Mr. Whiz: ;_;

Cyros: Am I the only one still wondering what happened back there?

Cinder: I’m telling you, they-

Starnik: Well you see, Metal Sonic did stuff... and... we were defeated.

Everyone: ...

Starnik: If you guys have a better explanation, I’m happy to hear it.

Darksage: Er...

Iga: Not really.

Bass: The only reason we lost was because you lowlifes got in my way!

Shadowstrike: Actually, I think you got in our way.

Bass: Are you calling me a liar, you mouth less freak!?

Shadowstrike: Maybe I am. What’s it to you?

Treble: Grr!

Shadowstrike: *glares* You want a free neutering, pooch?

Treble: Yipe! *hides*

Bass: Oh, you’ve done it now! I’ll kill you were you stand-

Wily: ENOUGH!

(Wily’s robots stop and look at their master)

Wily: All of you miserable robots are testing my patience! *points to the Warriors* Especially you eight! I should... wait a minute, where’s Heatman?

Starnik: *smacks head* Of course! We left him behind while he was napping!

Iga: Does that mean when he wakes up, he’ll kick those guys out?

Starnik: Of course! You see Doc, we just have to sit back, relax and wait for good old Ben to lay a can of whoop ass on Metal Sonic and his cronies! He’ll take ‘em out in no time!

(Back at Skull Castle...)

Metal Sonic: So, have you sealed that room?

Silver Sonic: Sure did!

Mecha Sonic: I made sure to put plenty of asbestos and lead. That Heatman is as good as trapped.

Ben: *muffled* I WILL USE YOUR SKULL AS A COFFEE CUP!

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

(Several hours later...)

Starnik: Yep... anytime now.

Wily: Flashman, I order you to whack Quickman for being an idiot.

Cyros: Uh... okay.

(Cyros whacks Starnik)

Starnik: *rubs head* Ow!

Cyros: Sorry ‘bout that.

Starnik: Meh, no harm done.

(Shadowstrikes whacks Naoshi in the head)

Naoshi: Ouch! *rubs head* What was that for?

Shadowstrike: I like to go with the flow.

Cyros: What flow? There is no flow! Just leave him alone already!

Shadowstrike: Calm down you spaz; you’ll live longer.

(The sound of falling trash cans comes from outside)

????: *muffled* Ow!

Starnik: What was that?

Wily: Oh no. It could be the police! Or even Megaman!

Bass: Well if it is that blue twerp, I know exactly what to do...

Wily: No Bass! You must stay here and protect me-

Bass: What!?

Wily: -and the Warriors will investigate.

Bass: You’ve got to be kidding me!

Darksage: Uh, stupid question here; why us?

Wily: That’s simple. You’re all expendable.

Warriors: Gee, thanks.

Starnik: Okay then. *points at Wood and Bubble* Iga and... whoever you are, go check it out.

Cinder: ...

(Iga and Cinder edge carefully toward the entrance to the warehouse. Muffled voices are heard from the other side)

Iga: Okay, we’ll take ‘em out on three.

Cinder: Oh, NOW you notice me.

Iga: Sorry! You just sort of blend into the background.

Cinder: ...on three right?

Iga: Yeah.

(Both robots crouch on either side of the door)

Iga: Ready... THREE!

(Iga and Cinder jump out, battle ready, only to slam into a familiar large robot)

Golemman: *startled* Gah! Golemman SMASH!

Cinder: Uh oh.

(Cinder is smacked away by a Golem Fist)

Cinder: WHA!!!

Iga: Hey, hey! Quit it, it’s us!

Golemman: Huh?

Starnik: What gives?

(Starnik pokes his head out and sees the Evil Eight, Fatal Five and the Wily Rescue Force right outside)

Starnik: *retracts his head* Hey Doc! Don’t sweat, it’s just our guys!

Doc Robot: Quickman! Where is Master!?

Omniman: What is Lord Wily doing here, Quickman!?

Riff: And why can’t we teleport back home?

Starnik: It’s a long story.

Cyros: No it’s not.

Starnik: Alright, so it’s a short story.

(One short explanation later...)

Omniman: Skull Castle is the possession of Robotnik’s creations? How dare they!

Shadowstrike: Oh yeah, such a terrible tragedy. Boo hoo.

Darksage: You do realize that when we got kicked out, we left all our stuff behind?

Shadowstrike: ...well son of a bitch.

Staccato: My lord, what shall our next course of action be?

Wily: You’re joking, right?

Bass: We go back there and kick their asses!

Warman: Sounds like a plan to me!

Barrageman: Unit Barrageman agrees.

Cyros: But the Warriors, Bass, Treble and Whiz couldn’t even get scratch on them last time. And they have all our defenses too!

Wily: Airman, I order you to whack Flashman for being a pessimist.

Cyros: Hey, that’s not-

(Shadowstrike whacks Cyros)

Cyros: Ow!

Shadowstrike: Hehehe.

Wily: Those pesky robots may have defeated us once before; even if I’m not entirely sure how; but they have yet to face the combined might of all my robot masters!

Omniman: We shall drive them out at any cost, Wily!

Doc Robot: Doc Robot will make Master proud!

Mr. Whiz: Hey, can it you kiss-ass! He’s mine!

(Awkward silence washes ever everyone)

Mr. Whiz: I mean, uh... *slinks off*

Bass: Remind me again why we let him live.

Starnik: Well someone has to respond to the M.E.R.A.B., and I’m a very busy man.

Artilleryman: You sit around all day, watching TV!

Starnik: Not true!

Everyone: ...

Starnik: Okay, sort of true.

Everyone: ...

Starnik: Mostly true?

Everyone: ...

Starnik: Oh come on, what is this, the Spanish Inquisition?

*DRAMATIC MUSIC!*

(A nearby door breaks down and three men in red clothing appear)

Cardinal Ximinez: Nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!

Everyone: ...

Shadowstrike: Was that the Inquisition?

Iga: Yup. Nobody expects it.

Shadowstrike: Yeah, but what a show.

Cyros: Can we get this over with already?

Shadowstrike: Killjoy.

(An hour later, Wily and all his robots are gathered outside Skull Castle. The trademark skull is now a replica of Metal Sonic’s head)

Wily: My décor! They ruined it!

Mr. Whiz: *crying* I spent hours polishing that skull! Now look at it!

Shadowstrike: Freak.

Darksage: So... *taps chin* Any ideas, Starnik?

Cinder: Ooo, I have an idea!

Starnik: Not that I can think of. Rushing might work though...

Cinder: *waves* Hey, I have a plan!

Cyros: No way. Sure, you could avoid their fire, but the rest of us would be toast

Iga: You could just stop time and stroll right past them, right?

Cinder: *jumping up and down* Hey!

Cyros: That helps me, but what about you guys?

Shadowstrike: You moved us while we were frozen back in Japan, remember?

Cyros: I had a Katamari back there! I’m not strong enough to carry some of you.

Cinder: *banging on a drum* Pay attention to me!

Shadowstrike: That’s because you’re a wuss.

Cyros: No I’m not!

Cinder: *tap dancing* Hello!?

Shadowstrike: Yes you are.

Cyros: No I’m not!

Cinder: *does wicked guitar solo*

Shadowstrike: Are.

Cyros: Not!

Cinder: *turns some tunes on a turn table*

Shadowstrike: Are.

Cyros: Not!

Cinder: *juggles chainsaws*

(Finally, Warman snaps)

Warman: GAH, I CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! *arms weapons*

Cyros, Shadowstrike: What the!?

Cinder: *drops chainsaws* Uh oh.

Warman: *laughs manically and fires*

(At the same time, Metal Sonic and his brothers are busy snooping through Wily’s database)

Mecha Sonic: Check out all these weapon designs.

Silver Sonic: We’ve really hit the jackpot, huh?

Metal Sonic: Indeed we have, my brothers. Though it creeps me out that Wily would consider building himself a pleasure slave.

Silver Sonic: Yeah... wait, what?

Metal Sonic: Did you not see the plans for that long-haired female robot?

Mecha Sonic: Dude... that was a guy.

Metal Sonic: ...seriously?

Mecha Sonic: Yep.

Metal Sonic: ...that’s even more disturbing.

(A large explosion occurs, sending the alarms off!)

Silver Sonic: What the hell?

Metal Sonic: Could it be? Computer, outside visual now!

(The computer brings up a video feed of the outside gate. It, as well as the various defense turrets, had been obliterated by Warman’s fury attack)

Mecha Sonic: Whoa. Some firepower.

Metal Sonic: How the- *clenches fist* No matter! Wily and his robots won’t get back their fortress without a fight! Release the Badniks!

Silver Sonic: ...

Mecha Sonic: ...

Metal Sonic: ...you DID remember to reprogram the auto-builders to make Badniks, right?

Silver Sonic: Actually...

Mecha Sonic: You never told us to.

(Metal Sonic stands, stupidfied)

Metal Sonic: Son. Of. A. Whore!

Mecha Sonic: Well we still have Wily’s robots in storage; we can send them out to fight.

Metal Sonic: *points* Then do THAT!

Silver Sonic: ‘Kay. *dashes off*

Metal Sonic: Now, back to checking out Wily’s files.

Mecha Sonic: Um, shouldn’t we be concentrating on the intruders?

Metal Sonic: *typing* Such weaklings are beneath us! None of them are a concern to me any-

(Metal Sonic stops typing and stares at the screen)

Mecha Sonic: Hey, bro, what gives?

(Metal Sonic points at the screen. Mecha Sonic reads what is on there)

Mecha Sonic: ...is that what I think it is?

Metal Sonic: *eyes glow red* Yes... it most certainly is.

(Back outside, the Warriors and the other Wily robots have strolled through the main gate)

Cinder: Wow, I can’t believe all those attacks missed me and destroyed the defenses!

Starnik: Nice job pissing Warman off, Cyke, ‘Strike.

Cyros, Shadowstrike: Thanks.

Cinder: Hey, what about me!?

Wily: *ignores Cinder* Minions! Go forth, and reclaim what is rightfully ours!

(The Evil Eight, Fatal Five and Wily Rescue Force yell out their battle cries and charge. They encounter the rouge Wily robots seconds later and begin their assault)

Cinder: *under his breath* Assholes.

Mr. Whiz: What can I do to help, sir?

Wily: You’re staying here on bodyguard duty with Bass.

Bass: Damn it.

Mr. Whiz: *sparkley eyed* THANK YOU SIR!

Warriors: Ugh.

Starnik: Let me guess; we take care of the Metal Sonics?

Wily: That’s right. And don’t screw up this time!

Shadowstrike: Oh don’t worry. I we aren’t letting them get the better of us again.

Cyros: For once I agree with you. Let’s go.

(The Warriors run into the fortress. After taking several winding hallways, they reach their living quarters)

Darksage: So we just gotta get Ben?

Starnik: And the problem will resolve itself.

Iga: It’s nice having a walking deus ex machine on your team, doesn’t it?

Naoshi: Except when he goes bonkers and toasts us. Fire hurts!

Shadowstrike: Really? I did not know that.

Naoshi: Ha, and you say I’m dumb!

Warriors: ...

Naoshi: *points* OHMYGOSHITSTHEM!

(Indeed, Metal Sonic and his two brothers are blocking our anti-heroes’ way to Ben’s room)

Metal Sonic: So... it is you.

Starnik: Yeah, and now we’re back!

Silver Sonic: From... outer space?

Mecha Sonic: We just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face?

Shadowstrike: ... the hell?

(Metal Sonic smacks his brothers)

Metal Sonic: Focus!

Mecha Sonic: Ow!

Silver Sonic: That hurt, you jerk!

Darksage: Not as much as the payback we’re gonna give you guys!

(The Warriors stand ready for combat. The robotic Sonics stare at them for a short while, and then start laughing)

Metal Sonic: Hah! This is amusing! You think you can beat us this time!?

Starnik: Heh. We’ve lucked out before.

Metal Sonic: Is that so? *rubs chin* Interesting...

Shadowstrike: Look, are we gonna fight or what?

Metal Sonic: Soon, soon, but before that, I must inform you...

(Metal Sonic points at Cyros... menacingly!)

Metal Sonic: WE KNOW YOUR SECRET!

Warriors: Huh?

Starnik: We have a secret?

Metal Sonic: Not you as in all of you! You as in HIM!

Starnik: ...

Metal Sonic: Flashman, you rusted sprocket!

Starnik: Hey, that was just uncalled for. ...wait, what about Cyke?

(Cyros fidgets nervously)

Metal Trio: Hahahahaha!

Metal Sonic: Yes, see how he squirms! Like... something that squirms!

(Silver and Mecha Sonic lower their faces with embarrassment)

Metal Sonic: Oh give me a break! I’m new at this “world domination” and “making your enemies suffer” business!

Starnik: *eyes Cyros* Secret?

Cyros: Uh... I don’t know what they’re talking about.

(Metal Sonic cackles evilly)

Metal Sonic: Then allow me to indulge you with our discovery!

(Floating up high above the Warriors, his eyes ablaze, Metal Sonic points are Cyros as if to impose eternal damnation upon him!)

Metal Sonic: Your little friend here, Flashman... IS REALLY-

(A great explosion occurs from behind the robotic trio. Feral growling prompts them to stand [and float] stiff. Slowly they turn around, to discover an enraged Heatman covered in flames!)

Naoshi: Hi Ben!

(Ben growls demonically once again)

Metal Sonic: ...Mecha...

Mecha Sonic: I swear, I sealed the room up good.

Silver Sonic: This is gonna hurt.

(Five seconds later, a powerful stream of nuclear fire blasts through the roof of Skull Fortress. Carryed along by the torrent of flame are the charred bodies of the robot Sonic trio)

Silver Sonic: Okay, I didn’t think it’d hurt THIS much!

Mecha Sonic: So much for world domination.

Metal Sonic: Damn you, Wily’s Warriors! We’ll be back!

Metal Trio: WE’RE BLASTING OFF!

(Metal, Silver and Mecha Sonic disappear into the sky with a twinkle)

Starnik: *looks up at the hole* Whoa! Nice distance, Ben!

(Another stream of fire comes over the Warriors, charring them good!)

Warriors: *blink*

Iga: Ow. *falls down*

Starnik: *coughs* What gives?

Ben: THAT was for leaving me behind AND for getting me trapped in my room! Bunch of pricks.

Starnik: Nice to see you too, Ben...

Cyros: Well, I think the fortress is ours, let’s call it a night okay?

(Cyros attempts to sneak off, but is pulled back by Shadowstrike)

Shadowstrike: Just a minute. This “secret” of yours those guys mentioned sounds fishy.

Cyros: “Secret?” What “secret?”

Darksage: *eyes Cyros* Are you hiding something from us?

Cyros: ...

Shadowstrike: Well? Spill it!

Cyros: Alright, alright! *sighs* You see... I’m really...

(The other Warriors lean in to listen)

Cyros: *shaking* I’m... really...

Warriors: Out with it already!

Cyros: *quickly* I’M REALLY, REALLY ATTRACTED TO GARDEVOIR!

(Awkward silence washes ever everyone. Cyros blushes)

Shadowstrike: ...you’re not allowed to talk anymore.

Cyros: Whatever. I’m going to bed. *leaves*

Shadowstrike: What did I just say about talking?

Starnik: Let it go, Shadow. So he has a bit of a “habit.” Big deal!

Darksage: I’m just glad we didn’t get our asses kicked again.

Iga: I still don’t remember how they defeated us the first time.

Cinder: *runs in* I know what-

(Ben launches an Atomic Fire at Cinder, toasting him!)

Cinder: *coughs*

Ben: That’s for not being noticed enough!

Cinder: ...that’s it. I quit.

(Cinder runs to his room, packs his suitcase, then leaves. Ben sends another Atomic Fire after him!)

Ben: -and that’s for desertion!

Naoshi: Bye bye! ...who was that guy?

Starnik: ...no idea. But I think we need a new Bubbleman.

Shadowstrike: I nominate Cyros.

Starnik: But... he’s Flashman.

Shadowstrike: Consider it a demotion.

Starnik: ...yeah. I’ll think about it.

(And once again, the Warriors have triumph over another whacky situation. As for Metal Sonic and his brothers, they are back in the ruins of Robotnik’s secret base)

Silver Sonic: So now- *ZZZT* what?

Metal Sonic: *opens up stasis capsule* We repair ourselves and wait. And when we wake up, we will exact revenge on our new foes; the Wily’s Warriors!

Mecha Sonic: I can’t believe it. Could Flashman really be the same guy we fought years ago?

Metal Sonic: We’ll worry about that in due time. For now, we rest.

(The Metal Trio enter their respective capsules and begin a long process of repairs)

Silver the Hedgehog: *appears* Now! To show the world that I am a her-

(The Metal Trio wake up and blast Silver the Hedgehog simultaneously, killing him!)

Metal Sonic: AND STAY DEAD!

(The Metal Trio go back to sleep)

THE END

...

(The next morning...)

Cyros: *walks into the kitchen*

Starnik: Hmm, morning Cyke!

Cyros: *gestures to his mouth*

Starnik: Hungry? Well why didn’t you say so?

Cyros: *gestures to mouth, then at Shadowstrike*

Starnik: You want to... eat Shadow?

Cyros: *glares*

Starnik: Wait a minute. *turns* Shadow, did you...

Shadowstrike: Heh. I told you he can’t talk. I just made it true.

Starnik: Ah! You sly devil you.

Cyros: *makes strangling gestures*

Naoshi: *runs in* Hey look everybody! Cyros is a mime!

Cyros: -.-;

THE REAL END