Wilys Warriors - Episode
15 - You Got SERVED!
by
Starnik
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We join our mighty heroes relaxing in the kitchen of their mighty suburban fortress...
Bubble Man: Wait, didn't I give us a new base? A big, floaty one?
Quick Man:
...That's our summer home. 'Sides, you can't get cable with that thing... and
believe me, WE NEED CABLE TV.
Heat Man: That stuff rots your brains, you know?
Quick Man: Tch! No it doesn't...
whoever you are!
Crash
Man: Oh great... he's forgotten who we are again... I'll go hook up the "Learn-o-matron"...
(Crash Man awkwardly picks up a large, nasty-looking electric torture device. Air Man grabs Quick Man's collar and pulls him toward a darkened room.)
Quick
Man: NOOOOOOOOOO~~~! I HAVE to delete some facts to make room for all the
information from VH1's quirky commentators from "I Love the 80s!"
(The door slams shut, and it's back to business as usual...)
Wood Man: You
know... looking at this accounting statement... we really aren't in the best
financial state. I mean, we've got bases all over the place, usually
due to shoddy writing and author's forgetting where we're actually supposed
to be... but we still have to make payments on all of them every month!
Metal
Man: Well... why don't we sell some of them?
Bubble Man: Not our flying one!
I wrote that one in!
Heat Man: Yeah, but we can't sell this suburban one...
I mean, it's just too funny to have a superhero team stuck in a middle-class,
white bread, and normal
suburban neighborhood...
Flash Man: ...Am I the ONLY ONE who is getting weirded
out by all this fourth wall destruction?
Murray: *growls*
Wood Man: ...anyways, how would we sell them when we still
have to make payments on them?
Metal Man: Er.... MAGIC!
(Just then, as Wood Man was preparing to finally rid the world of Metal Man's... "Unique" intellect, the DOORBELL RINGS!)
Flash Man: ...and why is the narrator sounding like he's
on crack?
*DING DONG!*
Metal Man: *jumping up, just dodging Wood Man's Leaf Shield attack*
I'll get it!
Wood Man: ...curses... you can't evade me forever!
(Who could be at the door, but... a large, T-visored, mysterious man!)
Mystery Man: ...Uh... package delivery.
Metal Man: Well, I know for a fact
that no one here actually ordered a package, and you're obviously not the UPS
man and actually some sort of well-armed stranger
who I've never met before... so sure! What could be the harm in accepting it?
Mystery Man: ...*to Heat Man* Is he being sarcastic?
Heat Man: Buddy, he doesn't know
the meaning of the word.
Metal Man: *placing the box on the table* Boy oh boy!
Whatever could it be?
Heat Man: Oh hell no. I'm leaving before you open up THAT
sucker. I'll go help Pharon and Rainer torture Starnik...
Metal Man: *slicing open the package with a metal
blade* TOO LATE BEN! It's already oooopeeeeen!~
Heat Man: Oh, you BAS-
**WHOP!**
Crash
Man: *opening the door to the "Learning Center"* ...Did anyone
just hear a loud "Whop"? ...Guys?
Air Man: Something wrong, Rainer?
Crash Man: Oh, nothing much, just, you know,
everyone is missing from the kitchen.
Quick Man: *sitting bolt upright* WHAT?!
Crash
Man: Did I go to fast for you? I said, I heard a loud "whop" and
when I stepped outside to check what caused it, everyone was-
Air Man: GONE?!
But how could this have happened?!
Crash Man: What do I look like, Nancy Drew?
I don't know, let's go check it out...
(One brief search of the premises later...)
Crash Man: Find anything?
Air Man: Nope. Everyone just left, without a trace.
Crash Man: How about you,
Starnik? Find anything?
Quick Man: *playing Super Smash Bros* ...hm? What?
Oh yeah, yeah, all gone, such a shame. Aw dammit! I keep dying against this
guy...
Crash Man: *coughing politely* Ahem... anyways, the only thing
out of place I found was this package on the table... it looks
like Metal
Man
used one
of his Metal Blades to open it, and there's a strange device
inside.
Quick Man: *zipping behind Crash* Huh. I don't suppose it has
a return address?
(Suddenly, the same strange man walks into the Warrior's base!)
Mystery Man: Heh, sometimes they make this job too easy-What the-?! How are you still here?
Quick Man: What in the
world... that's Boba Fett! In a UPS suit!
Boba Fett: I was so sure the package
would've teleported everyone...
Crash Man: Ah HA! I think I know what's going
on now! You sent that package, and when Pointy opened it,
it triggered
some
sort of teleportation
device!
Where did it take our friends?!
Boba Fett: Why don't
I show you...? *Pulls out a strange-looking gun*
Air Man: Everyone, scatter!
I'll knock him back! *uses his Air Shooter to blow Boba Fett out of
the doorway*
Quick Man: *dashing out of the
house with Rainer in tow* Come on, man! We gotta make tracks
FAST!
Crash Man: But what about our friends?!
What about Air Man?!
Quick Man: We can get NEW friends! Incase
you didn't notice, the galaxy's most
dangerous BOUNTY HUNTER
is after us!
Crash Man: But we need to
figure out why!
Boba Fett: *using his jet pack to land
in front of the remaining Warriors*
You'll find
out
soon enough...
*levels
his gun
at them*.
Quick Man: Crud, he already
got Pharon, I guess... sorry Rainer, ol' buddy,
you are
slowing me
down! *drops Rainer
and dashes
to the left*.
Crash Man: Starnik!
You coward! Come back here-ahhh!!! *is teleported
out by Boba
Fett*
Boba Fett: *watching Starnik
run into the distance* ...one
more
left...
(Later, a few miles outside the Sinister Six's base...)
Quick Man: *panting* It's no
good, no good at all! I
know I can't
get away
from him...
he's
the best
hunter in the
world...
but
maybe I can
get some
of the other teams to help...
Boba
Fett: *gliding down between him and the base*
Afraid that's
not going
to happen,
robot.
Quick Man: ...d...
dammit! How did you get here
before me?!
Boba Fett:
*raising teleportation gun*
You can run, I can
teleport.
(without further
hesitation, he fires!)
Quick
Man: *dodging* You'll have to be
faster than
that! *fires
off his
Quick
Boomerangs,
which knock
the gun
right out of
Fett's hand*
Boba
Fett: Augh! I forgot how fast
you'd
be-where?!
Quick
Man: *lifting Fett off the
ground, already
behind him*
Now, you're going
to tell me
everything, before
I...
Boba Fett:
*quickly
presses a button
on his armor,
which sends
an electric
shock
through
Starnik's
systems*
Before you what...?
Quick Man:
guh...dam...n...
*collapses*
Boba
Fett: *picking
up a
gun* That
should
slow
you down...
I'd say
it was
fun...
but I'd
be lying.
*shoots*
Quick
Man:
*cringing*
Nooooooooooooooo!
Flash
Man:
WELCOME...
TO
THE
OTHER
SIIIIIDE!!!
Heat
Man: Oh,
knock it
off. Hey
Starnik. Looks
like they
got you
too.
Quick
Man: ...yeah...
where are
we, anyways?
A court
house?
Crash
Man: Seems
that way...
oh, and
before I
forget... *whaps
Starnik across
the head*
THAT'S for
ditching me!
Quick
Man: OW!
Darn it,
that HURT!
(Suddenly,
there is
a flash
of light,
and a
piece of
paper materializes
above the
Warriors' heads.)
Wood
Man: What
in the
world... it's
a notice!
Wily is
suing us
for our
name! We've
been... SERVED!
(Loooong Silence.)
Heat
Man: That
was a
terrible joke,
and now
I'm going
to have
to set
you on
fire for
making it.
*does so*
Wood
Man: OH
SWEET CHRISTMAS!
Quick
Man: *rubbing
head* So...
Alien Wily
is suing
us?
Flash
man: *looking
at the
sheet*
Nope...
looks like
this time
its' the
REAL Doctor
Wily!
Wilys Warriors: DOCTOR WILY?!
Heat
Man:
Yeesh!
Doesn't
that
guy
have
enough
on
his
plate,
with
the
Mechs
and
the
Sinister
Six?
Doctor
Wily:
Neh
heh
heh
heh
heh!
Soon,
my
warriors,
I
won't
have
to worry
about
them
at
all...
and
YOU'RE going
to
help
me!
(GASP! What trickery is this? Doctor Wily USING the law, instead of breaking it? How will the Warriors EVER get out of this situation? WILL BEN EVER END UP WITH J-LO?! Find out next epilogue, same Warriors time, same Warriors channel!)
Flash
Man: *to the narrator* Seriously dude, you're freaking me out here.
(Sorry.)
TO BE CONTINUED!