Halloween Epilogue: Return of the Living Undead
by Flash Man
Co-written by Leon (Spark Mandrill) http://www.sinister6.com
Starnik as Quick Man
Darksage as Crash Man
Ben as Heat Man
Cyros as Flash Man
Brick as Bubble Man
Naoshi as Metal Man
Shadowstrike as Air Man
Iga as Wood Man
None are as infamous, however, as the fabled Necronomicon ex Mortis, literally “The Book of the Dead.” Said to be bound in human flesh and inked with the blood of innocents, the book contains passages describing the summoning of demonic beings and the resurrection of the dead. It too was thought to be lost to the ages…
That is, until a visitor from the far future arrived in the modern world, the book in tow. This temporal intruder, Anubis Necromancess the Third, had arrived to the year 20XX to punish those that dared ruin his master’s reputation. Calling upon the powers of the Necronomicon, he created powerful foes and raised an army of the dead to ravage the unsuspecting wrong doers. But fortunately, the ones he sought, Maverick Hunter Unit X, succeeded in destroying the jackal reploid, diverting the undead masses and securing the dreaded book.
Time passed, and the team broke apart, the members drifting far and wide to find new lives. The one with the book, however, sought to place it somewhere where it could not do any harm to anyone again.
Boomer Kuwanger: What’re you going to do with that thing, Sparks? It's pure evil, you know.
Spark Mandrill: Of course it is! It’s a book! They all have curses that put me to sleep whenever I try to read them!
Boomer Kuwanger: …Right. Either way, it's best to destroy that thing so no one else can get their hands on it.
Spark Mandrill: Screw that. I got a lazier idea.
Boomer Kuwanger: ...You didn't...
Spark Mandrill: *motions to a pile of cash and a computer with eBay displayed* Yes, I did.
-But, being the greedy SOB Spark Mandrill was, he instead sold it on eBay for $183645 and 67 cents.
Leon: Sweet! The Necronomicon they used to make "Evil Dead"! This thing's worth every penny! Things are looking up for Leon James Graves!
-Now, on this day, this very All Hallows Eve, the new keeper of the book, a man named Leon, watches over the book in order to keep it out of the hands of those who dare to use it to bring the world into an age of never ending darkness.
Rich: Awesome! You got the Necronomicon from "Evil Dead"?! Can I take a peek at it?
Leon: Screw you! Get your own! This here's Leon's Necronomicon!
-However, the agents of the damned are ever watchful, waiting for he who would allow their return into the realm of man…
*Elec Man writes*
Leon: *looking over the Necronomicon* Man, I never get tired looking at this thing. They sure put a lot of detail into this prop. It looks and feels like real flesh!
*As Leon sets the book back on his shelf, he feels a cold, metallic gun barrel planted on the back of his head.
????: Knock, knock.
Leon: *sarcastically* Hey, that voice sounds kinda familiar. Who is that?
*Leon knocks the gun barrel to one side. He whirls around and draws his "Boomstick", only to come face-to-face with...
Leon: ...Cyros...? Ah, man. Wily must let ANYONE become one of his warriors!
Cyros: Well, I had to see this to believe it. My old merc buddy Leon Graves as Elec Man. I got the drop on you, by the way.
Leon: Yeah, and look where it got you.
Cyros: *lowers canon* Heh heh, nothing's changed, ol' pal! How's life as a Sinister Sixlet treating you?
Leon: *holsters boomstick* I can't complain. Pay's pretty good. But what the frig brings you doing here?
Cyros: Wily's having one of those days again.
*meanwhile, at Skull Fortress...
Dr. Wily: I may not remember much buddy, but I know you're no looker!
Mr. Whiz: ...Why are you yelling at a lamp?
Bass: Uh, isn't time for your nap?
Dr. Wily: Yes, damnit!
*Dr. Wily falls asleep in a chair, which floats him out of the room. Meanwhile...
Cyros: Is it okay if I chill here until it's time for Dr. Wily's nap?
Leon: Yeah, sure. Knock yourself out. I've been meaning to catch up with ya anyway. It'll be like old times.
*Suddenly the rest of Wily's Warriors suddenly pile into Leon's room.
Darksage: Yeah, you're the best, Elec!
Cyros: What the-? How'd you guys get here?
Starnik: We followed you from the fortress. There's no way we were sticking around for another one of Wily's tantrums.
Leon: *charges up with electric energy* And you're not sticking around for one of mine, either.
Ben (Heat): *grabs Leon and rises a fiery fist* You want this to get ugly?
Shadowstrike: *spots and grabs the Necronomicon* Hey, is that what I think it is?
Leon: Put that back! Those are hard to find!
Iga: Sweet! A bona fide Necronomicon they used for "Evil Dead"! Where'd you get this?
Cyros: Oh, no, not that...Put it away. Now.
Cinder: C'mon! Elec Man said I could look it at.
Leon: No I didn't, actually. Thanks for asking by the way. *smacks Cinder*
Cyros: No! You guys don't understand! You might-
Ben (Heat): *punches Cyros* No one cares. *opens the book* What the hell? It really is written in Sumerian?!
Naoshi: And it really is bound in flesh and inked in blood? Ewwww....
Shadowstrike: That's just... Icky. I gotta go wash my hands now.
Naoshi: And I need to throw up now.
*the disgusted WW drop the Necronomicon and run of Leon's room.
Cyros: *sighs in relief* Thank God. For a minute, I thought they were gonna unknowingly summon some unholy, undead monstrosities.
Leon: What are you talking about? It’s just a movie prop. They’re just as likely to summon the dead with this as they are with Dr. Seuss.
*Suddenly, the shadows of Metal Man and Wood Man loom over Cyros and Leon.
Leon: Wow that was fast. Tell me you cleaned up after yourselves. 'Cause Erik's a-
*Before Leon could finish, Cyros and Leon get caught a barrage of metal blades. Howling pain, they slump to the ground, clutching their wounds. Before they can recover, Quick Man and Wood Man grab and restrain them.
"Wood Man": We're not yer Wily's Warriors! We're the Dream Team! The original Mega Man 2 team!
Cyros: Mega Man Team Deadites? How'd you-
DT Metal Man: Remind us to thank you and your imposters for leading us here, Cyros!
Leon: Goddamnit, Cyros! How many freaks and geeks did you drag in here, anyway?
Cyros: Wait a minute. I thought all you Mega Man Team deadites got killed in that crappy movie theater!
DT Bubble Man: Yeah, well WE weren't in that theater! We just decided to get pissed and watched porn after Evil Spark's attack on MHUX failed.
DT Crash Man: Afterwards, we tried getting the Necronomicon back on eBay and finish what we started. But YOU *points to Leon* snaked it out from underneath us and ruined it all!
Leon: YOU guys were d34d1t3 666?! I can't believe you're going through this much trouble for a movie prop, albeit a cool one.
DT Wood Man: Isn't obvious you fool?! That's not the Necronomicon they used to make "Evil Dead"! This is the REAL deal!
DT Heat Ma'am: We've roamed all over the Earth trying to track you and retrieve our sacred tome in order to revive our master. And now, the time has come!
*DT Metal Man snatches the Necronomicon and starts chanting verses aloud.
DT Metal Man: Cullen, Rayburn, Narz, Trebek!
*As soon as DT Metal finishes chanting, a pair of zombies burst out of the ground.
XT Gemini: We're back, ya (f-bomb), (censored)!
DT Heat Ma'am: Gah! Wrong spell! Kill them!
*the DT deadites quickly blast the monstrosities back to the abyss from whence they came.
XT Proto: We'll be (f-bomb) back!
DT Metal Man: Uh, sorry. *reads* Zabar, Kresge, Caldor, Walmart!
*the room begins to shake as a sickly green gateway materializes in the middle of the room and spews a golden sarcophagus. The sarcophagus splits open, revealing a jackal-headed reploid with a floating staff.
Anubis Necromancess III: Ah. Death is but a doorway. Time is but a window. I knew I'd be back.
Cyros: Oh. Shit. Oh shit. Ohshitohshitohshitoh-
Anubis Necromancess III: Silence! *smacks Cyros over the head with his staff* Your guise may have changed, yet you still retain the utter annoyance I know well!
Leon: Whoa whoa whoa, back it up. First off, WHO are you?
Anubis Necromancess III: I am the messenger of Death. The Lord of the Damned. He who plays with the fates or those who have long passed this mortal coil. But my “Master” refers to me as Anubis Necromancess the Third. *ponders* Or is it Sixth now?
DT Quick Man: Spare us the theatrics, doggie boy. We gonna cause some mayhem or what?
Anubis Necromancess III: Not yet. First, I must take care of this “Maverick” as I see fit.
Cyros: *dazed* Ma… maverick… yeah right…
Anubis Necromancess III: Silence, Maverick! In fact, I think it would be even more enjoyable to see you perish by MY Master’s hand. Yes, quite lovely…
Leon: Hello, confused person over here? What’s your beef with him anyway?
Anubis Necromancess III: He is guilty of tarnishing the glorious name of my Master. For that, he and all associated with him must perish.
*Anubis prepares the open the book once again, until DT Wood Man bursts into flames*
DT Wood Man: OH GOD THE AGONY!!! AHHHHHHH- *crumbles into ash*
Anubis Necromancess III: Who dares…
Ben (Heat): We dare, you undead freaks!
*One by one, the other WW members as well as the S6 begin to pile into the room*
Rich: *cramped* Ooph! You ever think of expanding your living space Leon?
Leon: Ha. Ha. Ha. Just help us will yah?
*Leon gives a backwards head bunt to DT Quick Man and therefore freeing himself. The DT gather on the opposite side of the room, blocking any clear shots to Anubis*
Anubis Necromancess III: Go, children of the damned! Return them to the earth from whence they came!
DT Air Man: Uh, “whence”?
DT Quick Man: What does “whence” mean?
Anubis Necromancess III: …just kill them, dumbasses.
DT Quick Man: Oh, right-
*DT Quick Man is cut down immediately by a barrage of Quick Boomerangs and Rolling Cutters*
Starnik: Alright boys, let’s kick some zombie ass!
Ben (Fire): Hoo-rah! *lets loose a pillar of flames*
*The various DT members begin running and floating around the room, sending attacks toward those most effected by their undead weapons*
DT Flash Man: *on the ceiling* Dead before dawn, dead before dawn!
Darksage: Get over here!
*Darksage fires a pair of Crash Bombs upward, blasting DT Flash apart*
Darksage: …that seemed too easy.
DT Heat Ma'am: *launches Atomic Fire at Rich and Iga* I’ll grind your bones to make my bread!
Iga: *raising Leave Shield* Dude, that’s the Giant from Jack in the Beanstalk’s line!
DT Heat Ma'am: Well, um… screw you!
Ben (Heat): Lady, you don’t deserve to live again. *snaps DT Heat’s neck*
DT Air Man: Nah ha ha ha! *conjures up a storm of Leon’s possessions* You can’t beat us, fleshbags!!!
Leon: Hey, you’re messing up my stuff! That cost me money!
*Leon sends a Thunder Beam straight at DT Air, who dodges and causes the beam to hit DT Bubble instead*
DT Bubble Man: ZIGZIGZIGZIG- *explodes*
DT Metal Man: Cretins! Prepare to- *looks up in time to see a large boulder falling toward him* -die? *crushed*
Erik: Rock beats scissors! Or in this case, metal.
Gary: Let’s finish this, Rich.
Rich: Oh yeah, time to party!
*Gary freezes the remain two deadites in solid ice while Rich throws several bombs toward the prisons. They explode and shatter the two and their residents*
DT Crash Man: *only a head* Oh, now I got ‘no body!’
Cyros: Die, spewer of puns! *smashes the head* Now all that’s left is-
Anubis Necromancess III: You are too late… *reads* Zamoni, Karken, Jumonas, ARCADIA!!!
*a bright flash of light occurs and blinds the opposing heroes, from which a spinning and glowing blue wormhole appears*
Cyros: Okay, this is bad…
Leon: No kidding! Look what you all did to my room!
Cyros: *smacks Leon* Not that! I’m taking about the portal!
Ben (Heat): Looks suspiciously like a time warp.
Anubis Necromancess III: Very perceptive of you. Now, witness the arrival of my Master, the Savior of Humanity!
Cyros: ’Savior of Humanity?’
*a large figure steps out of the portal just before it closes, revealing itself to be the form of Copy X*
Copy X: So this is the year 20XX… *looks around* What a filthy hovel.
Britt: Hey, that’s our home you’re talking about, Mister!
Copy X: Hmph, spare me. Anubis! Give me the Necronomicon!
Anubis Necromancess III: Oh course… Master. *does as he’s told*
Cyros: Oh, you are not gonna use that THIS time! *raises arm buster* Eat plasma, you son of a-
*Copy X arms his own buster and fires off an ice blast of energy, freezing Cyros in his place*
Copy X: I will have no interference this time, Maverick. *opens the book* Now, what shall I do first?
Erik: Obviously, you’re going to hand that back over to US, because we outnumber you.
Copy X: Ah yes, the infamous Sinister Six. I’ve heard much about your… ‘exploits’ back in my time. And yet your experiences will not help you this time.
Ben (Heat): Alright, enough of this! Rush ‘em!
Copy X: Oh, I don’t think so… *reads* Ganden, Venter, Sorack, Simona.
*Suddenly, six demented spirits appear and fly into each of the Sinister Six*
Gary, Britt, Erik, Rich, Ben (Fire) and Leon: Ahhhh!!!
Gary: Can’t… control… body… *changes* Nah ha ha ha!!!
Britt: *changes as well* Ooo, I look MARVELOUS! *head spins around*
Leon: *resists* No… must… fight it… OFF!!!
*sending various energies through his system, Leon succeeds in driving off the demonic spirit and prevents his possession*
Copy X: *raises eyebrow* Impressive. It seems primitive robots such as yourselves are much more hardy than history tells. No matter. *points at the WW* My servants, dispose of them!
Deadite Ben (Fire): Ooooooooo, fun fun fun! *pounces at Leon with flaming busters*
Leon: Down! *kicks Ben (Fire), sending his flames toward Cyros, thawing him out*
Cyros: *gasping* Guys, RUN LIKE HELL! NOW!
Starnik: Are you crazy? We can take them!
Leon: Attack my teammates? Are you mad?!
Shadowstrike: Come on, we won’t hurt them! …much.
Ben (Heat): *cracks his knuckles* And I'm not gonna "hurt" Fire Man as much as "maim him within an inch of his unlife".
*Heat Man tries to tackle Fire Man, but Fire Man counters with a Chuck Norris spin-kick, sending Heat Man reeling. The other Deadite Six (minus Leon) launch their signature attacks at the WW and Leon, causing massive damage*
Cinder: Holy crap, that spell must has increased their attack power as well!
Deadite Britt: Come and play-yay, boys! *flies upward and dive bombs downward*
Starnik: Okay, running it is. *first to do so*
Ben (Heat): *rubbing his jaw* Not yet you idiots! Fire Man's still in one piece!
*The other WW and Leon pile out of the room at record speed, dragging a cursing and struggling Heat Man. The Deadite Six go in pursuit until Copy X halts them*
Copy X: Let them go. We’ll deal with them in due time.
Anubis Necromancess III: But Master, are they not a threat to us?
Copy X: You still have much to learn, my servant. Come, we must begin our plan to bring order to this world.
Anubis Necromancess III: You worry not of the timeline?
Copy X: I do not. For it is not only the Mavericks at fault… no, the humans are the fools as well! I’ll show them that they need ME to survive. ME and ME ALONE!
(Elec Man writes)
*meanwhile, in the basement*
Ben (Heat): You shouldn't have hauled me off like that! I had Fire Man beat!
Cyros: *ignores Ben* Leon, you just HAD to buy that book of vile darkness, didn't you?
Leon: Shaddap! You're the one pissed those guys off to begin with!
*Leon suddenly slaps himself*
Starnik: Oh yeah. That certainly put him in his place.
Leon: It's not me.
*Leon starts punching himself in the groin repeatedly*
Naoshi: What the hell's wrong with you?
Leon: My hand...! ...It's going...bad!
*Leon watches as his hand starts decomposing and pokes him in the eyes*
Cinder: How can that be?
Cyros: Leon must not have been entirely successful in resisting that spirit. It must be slowly trying to gain control over his body one piece at a time.
Leon: Fascinating! No need to help or anything! I'm totally fine!
*Leon's hand forces itself into his mouth and gives him a wet willy.
Starnik: Any ideas on how to stop that spirit from gaining complete control over his body?
Ben (Heat): I got one.
*Ben grabs a metal blade and uses it to cut off Leon's evil hand, which is now scurrying about the room.*
Leon: Gyyaaahhhh!!! You bastard!
Ben (Heat): Problem solved.
*Ben chucks the metal blade at the severed hand, but it nimbly leaps out of the way. It scurries out through a vent, but not before flipping off Leon and the WW.
Leon: *clutches the stump where his hand was* Thanks for the warning, ya psycho!
Ben (Heat): Feh. There's no pleasing you.
Darksage: I hate to be the one to bring this up, but shouldn't we have torn apart by ravenous ghouls or vengeful seraphs by now?
Ben (Heat): Good question. Starnik, look into it.
Starnik: Hey, you're not the boss of-
*Ben blasts Starnik with atomic fire until he races upstairs, slightly on fire and scouts around. Ten seconds later...*
Starnik: They're gone.
Shadowstrike: What do you mean they're gone? Why would they-
Starnik: Go on! See for yourselves! They're not here!
*Leon and the WW race upstairs to Leon's room and sure enough, find it ravaged, but empty.
Iga: So...did we win...?
Leon: Hell no! Look at this place! It's a wreck! And don't forget the whole, "I'm down a hand" matter of course.
Darksage: Don't bitch to me about missing a hand. Don't you dare.
Cyros: *looks out a window* Uh, guys?
*the group looks at out the window Cyros peeked out of and sees Copy X in his seraph form casting spells from the Necronomicon, turning passersby into deadites.
Anubis Necromancess III: Uh, not that I'm complaining or anything, but what's this got to do with getting revenge on that maverick?
Copy X: Hmm?
Anubis Necromancess III: I mean, Cyros! Don't you remember that nasty rumor he spread about you and Zero?
Copy X: ...
Anubis Necromancess III: It was headline news in every tabloid in Neo Arcadia?
Copy X: ...
Anubis Necromancess III: It was the reason why you sent me and the deadites to kill him in the first place?
Copy X: ...
Anubis Necromancess III: *whispers* "I on't-day ink-thay it'll it-fay." Ring any bells?
Copy X: ...You know I don't listen to hip-hop.
Anubis Necromancess III: Ugh...
*back inside the S6 base*
Leon: Hoo, boy. This just keeps getting better and better.
Cinder: Any ideas how to deal with these vile, soul-sucking monstrosities?
Ben (Heat): I say we kill Starnik and Fire Man, then work our way towards Mormons and hippies.
Naoshi: How's that gonna solve the deadite problem?
Ben (Heat): Oh, those were the soul-sucking monstrosities we were talking about?
Shadowstrike: What if we get some other teams to help?
Starnik: They'll have an army large enough to walk all over us in the time it'll take us to do that. Not that they don't already.
Darksage: Besides, they'd just get possessed too.
Iga: For that matter, we could too.
Cinder: But we gotta do something!
Naoshi: Like what? We're outnumbered and outgunned!
Ben (Heat): The hell we are! We can slaughter the whole lot of them!
Starnik: Oh that's nice, Ben. I'm sure Leon will be perfectly okay with you killing his teammates!
Ben (Heat): Who said I care about what he-
*the sound of a riot gun blast and a barrage of plasma bullets ring through the air, interrupting the bickering WW. They turn around and see Cyros and Leon brandishing a plasma canon and a riot gun respectively. Leon also has his chainsaw attached where his severed hand is*
Cyros: Brilliant plan guys! Just kill each other before the deadites do!
Leon: Alright you crazy screwheads, listen up: we're through running! I say we stand and fight! Now who's with us?!
Naoshi: *raises hand* Is this an optional choice?
Naoshi: Aw crap.
(A short while later, the WW and Leon are perched on top of a hill overlooking Copy X and his deadite minions)
Copy X: Citizens of the Megaopolis! Gaze upon my glory, for I am you savior!
Various Deadites: *various nonsensical mumbling*
Copy X: Hey! *fires lasers into the sky* Respect my authoritah, bitches!
Various Deadites: *stand at attention and cheer*
Cyros: *stares at Copy X through binoculars* Well, he’s well armed, has hundreds of deadite minions, the rest of the Sinister Six, a necromancer reploid and the Necronomicon.
Darksage: So… what do we have?
Starnik: Jack and shit. And I’m afraid Jack left town.
Ben (Heat): I still say we should just kill ‘em.
Starnik: And that’s why I’m the leader and you’re not.
Ben (Heat): I could so EASILY smother you in your sleep, you know.
Leon: Shut up, the both of yas. *takes the binoculars from Cyros* I think I have a plan.
Iga: Somehow, I don’t think a plan would work right now. Can’t we have a strategy, or a mission statement?
Leon: First of all, we have to get the Necronomicon away from ass-less there. Then we have to get the demonic spirits out of everyone-
Ben (Heat): That’ll be easy.
Leon: -WITHOUT killing them.
Ben (Heat): Douche.
Cyros: Then how do we defeat Copy X and Anubis?
Shadowstrike: We rush them. Seems simple enough.
Iga: Are you forgetting that Copy X is currently a powerful seraph-thingie with killer lasers of pain and death?
Shadowstrike: Hmm… we could throw Naoshi at him as a distraction.
Leon: How about you leave the planning up to me and Cyros, okay?
Cinder: That’s another thing, just how do you know Cyros anyway?
Starnik: Yeah, last time I checked his existence began after Wily reprogrammed Flashman.
Cyros: Tell you guys what; if you listen to us and we survive, I’ll tell you sometime.
Anubis Necromancess III: …I feel a presence. *turns around* A-ha! There you-
(Anubis sees only a hill with no one perch on top of it)
Anubis Necromancess III: Bah, I must be seeing things…
Copy X: *waving arms around* -and thus, humanity shall be safe under my rule, giving me presents every Sunday, Tuesday and all major holidays!
Deadite Ben (Fire): Who cares, when do we destroy the flesh?!
Various Deadites: DEAD BY DAWN, DEAD BY DAWN!
Copy X: Shut up, all of you! I brought you all here, and I can send you all back!
Human Deadite: Well, you suck!
Copy X: That’s it! *reading* Handgu, Getcha, Jumabo, Weewee!
Human Deadite: Aww crap! *is unpossesed* Oh thank you! Thank-
Various Deadites: Death to the flesh! *devour the human citizen*
Deadite Erik: Hmm… crunchy. *burps*
Anubis Necromancess III: …I will not question the moral nature of this activity, but may I ask WHY you didn’t stop them?
Copy X: Anubis, Anubis, Anubis… this is what happens when you die twice and get additional rumors about having relations with an old bag of a mad scientist.
Anubis Necromancess III: *shudders*
(A pair of Crash Bombs connect to Anubis’ back, exploding and sending him reeling forward)
Copy X: Who-dah-what?!
Warriors (minus Cyros): Charge!!!
Copy X: Oh, you Mavericks want to play, huh? *motions toward them* Minions, eliminate them!
Various Deadites: Charge! *begin running*
(The WW members fire various weapons at the feet of the undefended monsters, driving them away)
Various Deadites: Let’s get the hell outta here!
Copy X: Cowards! Deadite Six, attack!
Deadite Gary: You heard the boss, let’s mess ‘em up!
Deadite Ben (Fire): Rargh! *jumps on Ben (Heat)* I’ll cut off your gizzard!
Ben (Heat): Get offa me, ya crazy bastard!
Deadite Ben (Fire): Nope! *slams down Ben’s (Heat) lid*
Ben (Heat): *muffled swearing*
(Starnik, Darksage and Shadowstrike tangle with Britt and Rich while Naoshi, Iga and Cinder take on Gary and Erik)
Copy X: Wait a second… *looks over on the battlefield* Where are Cyros and Leon?
Leon: Hey, ass-less!
Copy X: Huh?
(Copy X looks downward to see Leon aiming a gun at him)
Leon: Say hello to my little friend! *fires his riot gun into Copy X’s face*
Copy X: *unharmed as the bullets ping off*
Leon: *sweatdrops* Hehehe, you’re tougher than you look.
Copy X: *holds up his right claw* What did you hope to accomplish with that pea shooter of yours?
Leon: I don’t know, maybe-
Cyros: Yoink! *grabs the Necronomicon*
Copy X: Hey, that’s mine! *grabs for Cyros*
Cyros: *ducks* Too slow-
Anubis Necromancess III: *beans Cyros in the head with his staff*
Cyros: Crap, my face! *falls down*
Anubis Necromancess III: *picks up the book* I have recovered the Necronomicon, Master!
Copy X: Well done. Now, let’s send these Mavericks straight to Hell! Literally.
Anubis Necromancess III: Please, allow me to do the honors.
Copy X: Oh, why not! Gotta let you have some fun too.
Anubis Necromancess III: Let’s see… *opens the book* Devils… dragons… aha! Dimensional portals!
Cyros: *ceases his writhing* Oh crap.
Anubis Necromancess III: Hmm, it seems with the book open to the right page, only three words are needed to complete the spell… strange.
Leon: Not so fast! *runs to get the book, but is knocked down by Deadite Gary* Whu…
Deadite Gary: Hehehe, I’m going to kill your mommy with an axe! Hehehe!
Leon: Hey man, that’s not cool.
Deadite Erik: Grar! *makes a beeline toward Leon*
Leon: *revs chainsaw* Sorry big guy. *swipes it down onto Erik’s arm, only for it to break* Oh you gotta be kidding me!
Deadite Erik: Gotcha! *holds Leon in a crushing grip*
Copy X: Good, now get the bald one!
Cyros: “Bald”?! *is grabbed by Deadite Erik as well* Aww nuts.
Anubis Necromancess III: It seems the rest of the Warriors are busy with the remaining Deadite Six. We shall have no interference.
Copy X: X-cellent. Open the portal and just send Cyros through; Leon has use to me yet.
Leon: You egotistical bastard! Why I outta-
Copy X: Minion, knock him out.
Deadite Gary: Right! *slams a rotting mallet onto Leon’s head, knocking him out*
Starnik: *spots Cyros and Leon* Oh crap, the plan’s failing!
Naoshi: We’re gonna die!!!
Shadowstrike: *grabs Naoshi* If we are gonna die, you better shut up right now!
Deadite Britt: Aww, whatsa matter cuties, getting bored? Hehehehe!
Deadite Rich: Blow them! Blow them to itty bitty pieces!
Deadite Ben (Fire): And now, Warriors, you shall die…
(Something fast zips in between the two parties)
Starnik: What the?
Anubis Necromancess III: *looking at the book* Now, we shall have our portal! *clears throat* KLAATU! BARADA! N-
(In a flash, a small object leaps into Anubis’ arms and snatches the book)
Anubis Necromancess III: -IKTO! *looks downward* Oh shit!
Copy X: What the hell was that?
Cyros: *looks downward* Holy shit Leon! It’s… your hand!
(Sure enough, Leon’s hand is carrying the Necronomicon on its back, scurrying off into the Halloween night)
Anubis Necromancess III: No! The book was out of my hands when I completed the sentence!
Copy X: So? Nothing’s happening anyway! Now, get off your lazy ass and-
(Suddenly, a tear openings in the fabric of space/time, revealing a sickly green dimension on the other side)
Leon: Aww crap!
Cyros: Aww crap!
Deadite Six: Aww crap!
Anubis Necromancess III: SON OF A F***ING CRAP!!!
Copy X: What? It’s the portal we wanted, isn’t it?
Anubis Necromancess III: No…
(A gust of wind appears, sucking in the demonic spirits from the possessed people and the Sinister Six)
Various Deadites: NOO!!! We were suppose to WINNNNNNNNnnnnnn *return to normal*
Erik: *returning to normal* Huh? *drops Leon and Cyros* What happened?
Leon: You and the others got possessed and turned into deadites by this crazy zealot reploid from the future!
Copy X: I resent that remark!
Britt: *looks up* You’ll pay for turning me into a she-bitch!
Anubis Necromancess III: Master, we must flee-
Copy X: NO! *faces the S6 and WW* I may have lost the Necronomicon, but I can still exterminate the lot of you-
(Several black large mechanical tendrils erupt from the dimensional tear, grasping Anubis and dragging him back in)
Anubis Necromancess III: For Ra’s sake! How do you stop it! *disappears*
Copy X: What the- *is grasped as well* No!!!
(The tendrils drag Copy X backwards as he struggles to stay on the mortal plane. His claws are useless as they stick into the earth and do not prevent his main body from being dragged into the abyss)
Copy X: I can’t go in there! I’m a hero! I’m supposed to shake hands and kiss babies! I’m supposed to have fangirls willing to sleep with me every night!
Cyros: Don’t forget the fanboys!
Copy X: *enraged* I’M NOT GAY YOU MOTHER-
(Copy X’s words die into screams of terror as he is dragged toward the other side. The tear closes slowly, revealing a darkened and damaged figure with a glowing red visor on the other side)
Leon: Cyros? *turns toward the aforementioned* What the-
Cyros: *disturbed* You’re guess is as good as mine…
???: I… refuse… to… disappear…
(The portal closes completely, sealing the evil dimension away from the mortal realm)
Starnik: Now THAT’S interesting!
(Elec Man writes)
Cyros: Uh...this grand and all. But am I supposed to know you?
????: Of course you are, ya mutha (censored).
Cyros: Oh no...Not again.
????: You've guessed it...
*???? steps forward, revealing himself to be...*
XT Proto Man: You can't keep me (f-bomb) down, (censored)
Cyros: Ugh, enough already!
Leon: Just how many spells in that book revive you guys, anyway?
XT Proto Man: That first (f-bomb) spell the Dream Team cast means, "Awaken the inhabitants of the darkest abyss" translated. And that last (censored) one invokes, "The Damned with Many Names." The fact they keep reviving me and Gem is a (censored) coincidence.
Ben (Fire): Yeah, well we're not amused.
*Wily's Warriors and the Sinister Six blast XT Proto with their signature weapons simultaneously
XT Proto: (censored) (f-bomb) (f-bomb) (censored) *explodes*
Darksage: Is it over?
Shadowstrike: I don't care if it is or not. I'm calling it a day. After all, we did come here to avoid dealing with a whackjob.
Iga: ....Just so we could deal with several, even bigger ones. Out of sight.
Cinder: So what's the plan now, Leon?
Leon: You. Going back to Wily's fort.
Naoshi: Why's that?
Leon: You're not welcome here any more. At least until you all stop attracting every last freak and geek in time and space to our joint!
Cyros: Just as well. Knowing Leon, he'll probably force us to clean his room for him if we tried to stay.
Leon: Hey, yeah! Why didn't I think of that? I like that idea better!
Starnik: Yeah, we're going. Now.
Darksage: Wait, where's Ben...Our Ben, anyway.
*the S6 and WW watch Heat Man, wreathed in flames tackling Fire Man through a nearby window. Fire Man quickly puts Heat Man in a headlock, but Heat Man simply bites his arm. Cinder waddles in and splashes both Bens with bubble lead, debilitating them. Erik comes in and restrains Fire Man while Starnik grabs Heat Man.*
Heat and Fire: You shouldn't have done that! I had him beat!
Starnik: C'mon, Mr. Personality. It's time to go.
Ben (Fire): Saved by the bell yet again, shrimp...
Ben (Heat): You're not one to talk.
Erik: Uh, yeah...Take it easy, guys. I guess.
Cinder: Say Cyros. Weren't you gonna fill us in how you know Leon?
Cyros: Oh right. You see, it all started...
*As Cyros regales his past, the two teams return to their respective bases, each dragging their own struggling and cursing Ben. As they take their leave, another figure watches from the shadows.
????: *thinking* Run along to your nice, safe home, Cyros. Enjoy it while you can.
*back at the S6 base...*
Erik: Some heroes we turned out to be.
Rich: We got possessed by demonic spirits and wreaked all sorts of havoc. ...Which wouldn't be so bad if it didn't involve the whole possession thing.
Leon: And my hand went frickin' bad and got lopped off after my room got trashed by a bunch of freeloaders and maniacs.
Britt: Relax! Dr. Light can fix your hand up.
Leon: That fat bastard better. But first thing's first. Someone's cleaning up my room, and I'll be damned if it's me.
Leon: ...Goddamnit, you guys. *storms to his room*
Erik: Say, what did happen to Leon's bad hand?
*elsewhere, Leon's Evil Hand scurries toward a cigar-smoking maniac in a filthy lab coat...
General Cutman: Hello, what do we have here?
*Leon's Hand presents General Cutman with the Necronomicon.
General Cutman: *reads* Hmmm...The legendary Book of The Dead...Not exactly my style. I don't need maggot-taxis to do MY dirty work.
*General Cutman is about to toss it over his shoulder, but reconsiders...
General Cutman: ...But it would be equally pointless to just throw all this power away or let someone else get their hands on it. I'll decide what to do with this later. Besides, I won't be worse off for having it.
THE END... or is it?