Wily's Warriors - Season 2 - All Beef and No Brains
by Darksage (co-written by Naoshi)

Starnik as Quick Man

Darksage as Crash Man

Ben as Heat Man

Cyros as Flash Man

Akutare as Bubble Man

Naoshi as Metal Man

Shadowstrike as Air Man

Iga as Wood Man

Narrator: It’s afternoon at Skull Castle, with Dr. Wily working all morning on his latest master plan. His Warriors are happily helping him out, as usual.

Iga: I’m bored.

Aku: I’m hungry.

Starnik: I refuse to do anymore work.

Cyros: You haven’t done a thing but critique us!

Starnik: Hey, someone has to do it.

Bass: Will you morons stop bickering and help the doc out?!

Cyros: I said it before and I’ll say it again, this isn’t a good idea.

Dr. Wily: This is a perfect plan. You numbskulls couldn’t use any of my earlier inventions properly, so developing chemical weapons should be a better, fool-proof solution!

Starnik: First off, all your previous inventions were either dumb or stolen from Ben, and secondly, you’re probably getting you ideas out of a ‘Chemistry for Dummies’ book.

Cyros: It’s actually ‘The Idiot’s Guide to Chemistry’.

Bass: Quiet fools. We are here to assist the good doc in whatever he has in mind… *under his breath* …no matter how idiotic it is.

Dr. Wily: What was that?

Bass: Nothing, nothing at all!

Aku: So when is our lunch break?

Cyros: *sighs* When the others are FINALLY done with theirs.

Starnik: I can’t wait. All this work has made me work up an appetite.

Cyros: UGH!

Dr. Wily: Will you morons stop arguing me and help me with my chemical abstracts?!

Cyros: Sorry.

Starnik: Sorry.

Aku: Sorry.

Iga: Sorry.

Naoshi: Sorry.

Cyros: Wait…what are you doing here Naoshi?! You’re supposed to be on lunch with the others.

Naoshi: Shadowstrike told me to get lost.

Starnik: Now you’re found, so get lost somewhere else. Try the next county.

Naoshi: But I’m lonely!

Iga: Well, you can stay but don’t get in the way.

Naoshi: Okay! *wonders off*

Dr. Wily: Will someone get me the iodine number seven abstract?

Cyros: Ok. Whose turn is it?

Aku: It’s Starnik’s.

Cyros: Damn…I’ll get it.

*Cyros goes to the table only to see empty vials strewn about*

Naoshi: *belching* Mmm, those were better than Gatorade!

Cyros: Naoshi! You weren’t supposed to drink those; they were deadly chemicals and substances!

Naoshi: I wondered why they tasted funny…

*suddenly, Naoshi starts shaking and trembling*

Naoshi: I don’t think I should’ve drunk that.

Starnik: You think?

*without another word, Naoshi’s body melts and molds itself into a troll, a mannequin, a statue of Elvis eating a pizza, a Mudkip…*

Cyros: Yay!

*…a gumball machine…*

Cyros: Damn it!

*…a pile of Legos, and finally a dairy cow with a metal blade on its forehead*

Naoshi: *smiles*

Dr. Wily: How could you fools allow him to drink my formulas?

Aku: We couldn’t keep an eye on him all the time.

Iga: He seems well though.

Naoshi: *moos, starts grazing on the carpet*

Starnik: Plus he seems just as smart as ever.

Dr. Wily: I’ll have to make a cure.

*at this time, the intercom starts buzzing*

Dr. Wily: Bass, answer that.

Bass: Why do I always have to answer? * picks up and talks into the com receiver* Hello?

Whiz: *through the com* Bass? Hello?

Bass: What is it Whiz?

Whiz: We have a problem in the cafeteria.

Bass: We have a bigger one here. Metalman’s idiotic tendencies turned himself into a cow.


Bass: You don’t’ have to scream. We’re taking care of it.

 Whiz: Oh good.

Bass: So what is the problem there?

Whiz: We ran out of beef here, and Crashman, Heatman, and Airman were restless. I think its ok now though.

Bass: That’s good. I didn’t need to here about a problem with those morons too.

Whiz: It’s odd. They seemed to run off once I said it out loud that Metalman is a cow. I don’t’ know why they did.

Bass: Whiz…YOU’RE AN IDIOT! *slams the receiver *

Starnik: Like I care, but what was that about?

Bass: Your three colleagues are off to carve up the cow! I don’t’ know what can make my job worse. *sniffs* Oh god, I stepped in…

Naoshi: *smiles*

Starnik: *laughing*

Iga: I’m sure they’d understand if we talk to them about it.

Aku: I don’t think we can talk them out of it.

Cyros: I agree. I don’t think anything will come between them and a burger, dead or alive, especially Ben.

Dr. Wily: I hate you metallic imbeciles! You four take Metalman out to the yard and protect him, since I need no distractions. Bass will help me make a cure. Also, don’t screw this up!

Starnik: Like we would care if he is made into hamburger. He’s never looked better if you asked me.

Iga: He is more content now too.

Dr. Wily: If you don’t protect him, I’ll make the next Metalman even more obedient.

Aku: Do you mean dumber?

Cyros: WHAT?! That can’t be possible!

Iga: That wouldn’t be good.

Starnik: Fine, fine. We’ll do it.

Dr. Wily: First things first. Bass, I’m thirsty for some warm milk, and I want it fresh!

Naoshi: *moos*

Bass: I hate my life.

Around the same time in a helicopter…

Lobe: I wish I wasn’t fed up with my own ideas to capture Freakazoid. It’s getting harder to steal from other scientists now days since no one seems to have something worth taking for my own. All I need is just one thing of interest for my plan to work. *sighs* I guess I better go to the last stop on my list.

Later, in Skull Castle’s back yard…

Naoshi: MOO! *grazes on Wily’s flower garden*

Aku: This is really boring.

Iga: It’s kind of interesting to see what Naoshi will eat next, honestly.

Naoshi: *eats gravel*

Aku: It’s still boring.

Starnik: *laying in a lawn chair* We’re out in the sun and not doing a thing. What else would you want?

Cyros: There are a million things I can say, but I’ll let it go.

Starnik: Good for you.

Meanwhile, in a helicopter the sky…

Lobe: I’m really getting desperate coming here. There is nothing of importance this quack has that Freakazoid can possibly-oh, what’s this?

*Lobe looks down, watching Wily’s bots, and a cow eating gravel*

Lobe: My word, that just might work. I guess Dr. Wily shouldn’t have been kicked out of the Evil Geniuses Country Club after all.

Back on the ground…

Iga: Uh, guys? I think I see something, or someone, sneaking behind Naoshi.

Starnik: Huh? Oh, that’s just Darksage.

Iga: Yes, but he’s carrying a meat cleaver while wearing a butcher’s apron and hat.

Cyros: Darksage, what are you up to?

Darksage: *hides the cleaver behind his back* Well…nothing, nothing at all!

*Heatman enters behind him, wearing a hockey mask and wielding a chainsaw*

Ben: Hey, what’s the hold up? Are we having steak or what?

Iga: What are you two really up to?

Darksage: *continues to hide the weapon* Nothing I said!

Aku: Dressed like a butcher and psychopathic killer?

Darksage: …costume party?

Iga: I believe that, if you were going as the village people.

Cyros: Well, here comes the village idiot.

*Airman enters, wearing a top hat, a patched up suit jacket, and wielding a sledgehammer with a board nailed to it*

Shadowstrike: Very funny, Flash-er-man. Why don’t you go put on a trench coat and expose yourself to a waitress at Hooters?

Cyros: Screw you air can! How can you even think of butchering Naoshi? That’s cannibalism!

Ben: I’m a robot, he’s a cow. How’s that cannibalism?

Starnik: That’s a valid point.

Cyros: You’re not helping!

Iga: *looks in the sky* Hey guys…

Aku: If you kill Naoshi, Dr. Wily said he’d make the next Metalman worse than Naoshi.

Cyros: Yes, brain-wise.

Ben: Let me check if I care…nope.

Shadowstrike: I’ve always wanted to look into his big, shinning eyes, and then nail him with a sledgehammer!

Darksage: I’m dressed like this for a reason, and I’m not going away without having beef

Iga: Uh, guys, I think you should see…

Ben: You can have the ribs, I’m having steak!

Shadowstrike: Hold it that means I get stuck with the rump! As far as I know, his brain could be there!

Cyros: You can discuss this as much as you’d like, but no one is eating him.

*at this time, a metal claw comes out of the helicopter, grabbing Naoshi while the others are turned away*

Iga: Guys, this is very…

Starnik: Quiet Iga, this is too fun not to watch!

Shadowstrike: We’re having beef if you like it or not, crazy lady!

Cyros: No you’re not, and don’t call me that!

Iga: GUYS!

All: What?

Iga: *points up*

*All look up to see a helicopter above them, carrying Naoshi off underneath it*

Starnik: Why didn’t you say something sooner?

Iga: *face palms*

Naoshi: *smiles*

Aku: Why is Naoshi smiling, doesn’t he know he’s being kidnapped?

Shadowstrike: He doesn’t care; he likes flying, except when I push him out a window for some reason.

Ben: I hate it when my meal flies off.

Cyros: We need to go after him.

Shadowstrike: That’s what I was thinking too. Let’s go to the jet.

Cyros: Oh no, we’re using the jet.

Darksage: I think who ever gets to it first should use it.

*all of a sudden, Wily’s jet flies above, lowering a ladder*

Starnik: *flying the jet* Never challenge me to a speed contest, no hands!

*Akutare, Iga, and Cyros go up the ladder as they go after the helicopter*

Ben: Someone better have a good idea before I decide to give my chainsaw a workout!

Darksage: I’ll hotwire one of Wily’s UFOs.

Shadowstrike: You know how to do that?

Darksage: *turns and stares*

Shadowstrike: Oh yeah, nevermind.

Shortly after, in the air space above the town...

Naoshi: *moos*

Lobe: Patience, we will soon be at your new home and my best trap I have conceived yet!

Cyros: So how are we going to get Naoshi?

Iga: Blow up the helicopter?

Cyros: ...But wouldn't that kill him?

Lobe: *looking back* Aw poppycock! *on his radio* I took this piece of livestock fair and square while you won't looking, so let me be!

Iga: See what happens when no one listens to me?!

Starnik: Oh quit complaining!

Aku: I have an idea, why don't we cut the metal claw off?

Iga: How are we gonna do that?

Cyros: Starnik, don't you have Quick Boomerangs? Maybe you can somehow cut the metal claw off and free Naoshi.

Starnik: That's a good idea and all but I'm the one flying this thing!

Aku: I can fly it.

Starnik: Alright

*Aku takes over the jet while Starnik aims his weapon at the metal claw*

Starnik: Here goes nothing. *fires off a boomerang but misses by a few inches* Damn, it's too far!

*the boomerang hits a building's window; shattering it*

Lobe: You missed me! Nya nya!

*the boomerang returns and hits Cyros*

Cyros: OUCH!

Starnik: Heh...um, oops?

Iga: *sighs* How can this get any worse?

*behind the jet, a poorly controled saucer appears*

Shadowstrike: *on the radio* Hi guys. So...what the hell do you think you're doing?

Cyros: Dammit!

Starnik: Oh great. They must really want their meal.

Ben: *reving up his chain saw* You're damn right horn head!

Iga: And they have Ben too!

Aku: What do ya' suppose we do now?

*the saucer flies next to the jet and rams it*

Shadowstrike: Out of our way, we want a shot!

Cyros: We won't let you, fan boy.

Darksage: *while flying the saucer* Hey, we have Ben and we're not afraid to use him!

Iga: *panic* What do we do? What do we do? I don't wanna die!

Starnik: We stand and fight!

Cyros: Are you crazy?!

Starnik: How so?

Cyros: Starnik, must we remind you that Ben wouldn't even give a second thought of killing us?

Iga: This is Ben we're talking about.

Ben: *on the top of the saucer* I WANT MY STEAK DAMN IT! *holds out a grenade*

Iga: Eep!

Shadowstrike: Ram them out of the way!

Darksage: You got it.

Starnik: Aku, quick! Move the jet to the right!

Aku: Don't know if I can do it on time!

*the jet moves aside at the last second as the saucer moves in*

Cyros: Phew...

Starnik: That was close!

Iga: Uh...we still have a problem! *points at the saucer and the helicopter*

Darksage: All clear!

Ben: I want my meat bastard!! *gets ready to throw the grenade*

Starnik: Aku, ram them!

Aku: Alright!

*the jet rams into the saucer, causing Ben’s throw to go off target *

Lobe: Missed again!!

Shadowstrike: Damn...

Ben: At least I got Six Flags!

*the jet then moves to the right and flies further*

Iga: Huh?

Starnik: Iga! Think quick! *throws him into the saucer*

Iga: What?!

Starnik: Destroy them! MAKE US PROUD!

Iga: Starnik, this is insane! I can't take on them!

Starnik: Then you need a partner! *throws Cyros*

Cyros: What the hell, Starnik?!

Ben: *to Iga and Cyros* What the hell do you want??!

Iga: Mommy!

*Ben tosses them back, causing the jet to lose momentum and having to back off*

Cyros: Damn you Starnik!

Starnik: Gah!

Aku: Smart plan there.

Shadowstrike: Now it's us and Lobe.

Lobe: What are you going to do, throw more useless projectiles at me?

Ben: No, just this asshole! *pulls out a rocket launcher*

Lobe: Oh crud.

*the rocket clips the helicoptor's tail and ends up blowing up a McClownman’s*

Shadowstrike: Ack, you missed!

Darksage: Yeah, but he has to land now, hold on!

Starnik: Hey, it looks like that helicopter is going to land.

Iga: At least Ben missed and didn't end up blowing up Naoshi.

*the helicopter lands in a nearby air field, with the other two parties close behind*

Lobe: *getting out* Damn, they damaged my helicopter. These things aren’t easy to steal.

Naoshi: *moos*

*the other groups land as well, with Starnik’s coming out first*

Lobe: Oh drat. I take it you fools want to get involved in fisticuffs now?

Aku: Yeah and-Hey, nice hat!

Lobe: I know, it make me look rather fetching, don’t you think?

Aku: I know, I have one too! *puts on his fedora*

Lobe: My word that is smashing.

Starnik: Hey ladies are we discussing fashion tips or are we going to take care of business?

Akutare and Lobe: Fine.

Cyros: Well, just hand over the cow and no one gets hurt.

Ben: Except you!

Darksage: We’re not going anywhere.

Starnik: Ah crap.

Shadowstrike: Just step aside and let us take the genius out to pasture.

Naoshi: *smiles*

Iga: I don’t think he knows what that means.

Aku: That’s no different than before.

Cyros: Just stand down , air can, and let us handle this.

Shadowstrike: We WILL be fed!

Lobe: Can I interject for a-


Aku: Naoshi has to be brought back to normal!

Cyros: I’ll take care of this Aku. *to Shadowstrike* You are not getting to Naoshi.

Shadowstrike: I’ll knock you out of the way crazy lady.

Cyros: I’d like to see you try.

Lobe: *to himself* Now is my chance.

*the Lobe sneaks off while the others are distracted, shoving Naoshi into a mail truck*

Iga: Uh, guys?

Shadowstrike: Why don’t you go iron your Pikachu boxers.

*the Lobe drives off*

Iga: Guys?

Cyros: I’ll take that sledgehammer and shove it up your-

Iga: GUYS!

All: WHAT?!

Cyros: What the…?! He got away with Naoshi again!

Starnik: Why didn’t you say something again?

Iga: UGH!

Starnik: *picks it up* It’s a matchbook with an address.

Aku: Perfect, we can find Naoshi now.

Shadowstrike: Hey!

Darksage: Hand it over to us!

Starnik: Finders keepers, losers!

Ben: *holds a baseball bat under Starnik’s chin* What was that?

Starnik: Like I said, here you go! *hands over the matchbook*

Ben: That’s better. C’mon, we have beef to roast!

*Ben, Shadowstrike, and Darksage fly off in the saucer*

Cyros: Well, that’s just great. You pretty much handed them Naoshi on a silver platter!

Starnik: Hey, I’m not only fast on my feet. I changed the matchbook on mister Zippo. They’re well on their way to the next county.

Iga: Well, let’s get going then.

Later on, outside a warehouse…

Aku: Are we sure this is the place?

Starnik: It’s the address on the matchbook.

Cyros: I wish there was a clue.

Aku: How about that? *points up*

*on top of the warehouse, there is a flashing neon sign saying “Home of the World’s Dumbest Cow”

Iga: I guess subtlety isn’t the Lobe’s strong point.

Cyros: It’s good the others are out of the picture, but what do we do now to get Naoshi back?

Starnik: I’ll come up with a fool proof plan before you know it.

Iga: Are you sure the others won’t get involved?

Starnik: You worry too much. If my thinking is correct, they should be arriving at their ‘goal’ just about now…

About the same time, outside a Gasigo gas station…

Darksage: Are you sure this is the place?

Shadowstrike: *looks at the match book* This is the address, all right.

Ben: Damn it, he must have switched match books on me.

Darksage: We should have known not to trust him. I almost don’t blame him or the others for not wanting us to butcher Naoshi into fine quality meat products.

Shadowstrike: Almost is the key word.

Darksage: Exactly.

Ben: When I get my hands on that horn head…

Shadowstrike: Well, since we’re here we might as well fill up the gas tank. Do you have Wily’s American Express card ‘sage?

Darksage: Of course, I never leave home without it.

Ben: Fine. Hey you, with the dopey grin, fill-er up.

Gasigo Attendant #1: Did you say ‘fill-er up’? *whistles*

*Music starts playing out of nowhere as four more attendants come out*

Gasigo Attendants: *singing* If you want service with a smile, we will go that extra mile-

Gasigo Attendant #2: We clean windows…

Gasigo Attendant #3: …fill the tank…

Gasigo Attendant #4: …wax the hood…

Gasigo Attendant #5: …no need to thank!

Gasigo Attendants: Gasigo, we’re at your service! Gasigo, it’s our purpose!

Shadowstrike: My ears! My poor, poor ears!

Darksage: For the love of humanity, make it stop!

Gasigo Attendants: Gasigo, we love your car! Gasigo, we’re never far!

Ben: Starnik will DIE for this!

Gasigo Attendants: G-A-S, I-G-O, Gasigo…

Back outside the warehouse…

Cyros: Well, at least they’re getting what they deserve.

Iga: That’s nice and all, but how are we going to get in this place?

Starnik: I think I have a plan.

Ten minutes later…

Cyros: *dressed as a ballerina* Before I start yelling incoherently, I’ll ask this one more time…how the hell is this going to work?!

Starnik: *sighs* I’ll explain again. You ring the doorbell in the front, and introduce yourself as the dancing queen of France. While you dance, Iga rolls in like the log he is. When he asks if you’re a lumberjack, you say no then Aku will burst in dressed like one while holding an ax. While you act like a tree hugger and fight with Aku over rather or not Iga should be chopped to pieces, I will sneak in through the back and save Naoshi. It’s fool proof.

Iga: What about an escape plan?

Starnik: I’ll leave with Naoshi through the back while you three keep them distracted, of course.

Cyros: Hold it! What if he notices Naoshi is gone and tries to kill us after you leave?

Starnik: That’s a risk I’m willing to take.

Iga: Honestly, are we doing this because this a legitimate plan or is it you like seeing us embarrass ourselves?

Starnik: Uh…yes. Now, let’s go!

Iga: Wait, where’s Akutare?

Aku: *opening a window from the inside* Hey guys. The back door by the loading docks was unlocked, so I snuck in through there.

Cyros and Iga: *stares at Starnik*

Starnik: What? That was plan B!

Soon after…

Iga: This place gives me the creeps.

Aku: I do like the plush carpeting, but the lighting is left to be desired.

Starnik: Yeesh, it's really too dark in here. If only someone would "use" their head. *looks at Cyros*

Cyros: Huh? Oh...*head lights up like a flash light* You know...I've always forgotten I can do that. Wished I've known this sooner back when Shadowstrike used to prank me whenever there was a black out.

Iga: Uh...Guys?

*the light reveals the entire room and with that it also reveals the Warriors are surrounded by weapons*

Aku: Oh...

Starnik: I told you Plan A would of have been better!

Lobe: I was keeping my arsenal for Freakazoid, but if I must destroy you all to get to him, so be it.

Cyros: At least it can’t get worse.

*at this time, Darksage, Shadowstrike, and Ben crash through the wall*

Cyros: I have to stop saying that.

Shadowstrike: All right, no one move! We are taking back Naoshi now and-

Iga: I think you should have a look around.

Shadowstrike: Well I-*sees the weapons* oh shit.

Lobe: I’ve had enough of your family reunions. I’m going to finish you off once and for all then I’ll use your four-legged friend to lure Freakazoid here!

Cyros: May I ask why you are going through all this trouble just for a guy in red pajamas?

Lobe: That guy in the red pajamas, as you call him, is a super being I’m inclined to destroy, seeing that I am his greatest nemesis.

Shadowstrike: Oh come on, you’re not Freakazoid’s greatest nemesis.

Lobe: Well if there is someone more menacing, I’d like to know right now!

Shadowstrike: Here’s a hint.

*Airman puts on Heatman’s hockey mask and holds out a candle*

Lobe: Wait, Candle Jack? You think Candle Jack is a better villain than me? I know having an abnormal sized brain as my head isn’t going to intimidate everyone, but Candle Jack is like a ludicrous boogieman. You can’t be serious that Candle Jack is-


Lobe: He’s right behind me, isn’t he?

Candle Jack: *dropping in upside down* So, who called?

All: *points at the Lobe*

Lobe: I didn’t say your name! I said…auto jack! That’s it, auto jack! You know, the name of that new service center. I didn’t say your name!

Shadowstrike: Who’s name?

Lobe: His name. *points at Candle Jack*

Darksage: Who’s he?

Lobe: Ha! You’re not going to trick me into falling for that old gag.

Starnik: Now what are you talking about?

Lobe: You know full well I’m talking about you’re amateurish efforts of making me say Candle Jack’s name while he’s…oh fiddle faddle.

*Candle Jack lassos the Lobe and floats away with him in tow*

Shadowstrike: Hey, one second. I have a question I’ve wanted to ask.

Candle Jack: Yes, what is it? I’m on a tight schedule.

Shadowstrike: Why do you do mass kidnappings?

Candle Jack: I don’t know. It’s always been fun.

Lobe: I’ll get you for this you robotic rejects, I’ll have my revenge!

Candle Jack: Why do they never go quietly?

*Candle Jack and the Lobe disappear from sight*

Shadowstrike: Woo! I’m awesome!

Cyros: Okay, you saved us all.

Shadowstrike: Yes, and for that, we get Naoshi and the jet.

Darksage and Ben: YEAH!

Starnik: *halfway across the room, holding Naoshi’s leash* I don’t think so.

Darksage: Give him to us, you owe us.

Cyros: Yes, we owe you one, but not until Naoshi changes back.

Ben: If you don’t hand him over right now, I’ll fry you three before I barbeque our steaks.

Naoshi: *smiles*

Cyros: I guess we’re at a stalemate.

Iga: Does anyone have an idea?

Shadowstrike: I do. Let’s have a race to it, you three *gestures at Iga, Cyros, and Aku* against us three. Winner gets the jet and Naoshi.

Iga: I guess that’s fair.

Darksage: *whispers* How is it supposed to help us?

Shadowstrike: *whispers* We run at two.

Darksage: *whispers* Got’cha.

Shadowstrike: Ready?

Cyros: Not really…

Ben: Too bad!

Shadowstrike: Let’s go in 5…4…3…

Starnik: *from in the jet* I got it!

Darksage: We really need to rethink our plans next time.

*Iga, Cyros, and Akutare get in the jet, along with Naoshi*

Starnik: Bye suckers!

Ben: You better not leave us behind again.

Cyros: Why should we let you guys come with us? You were trying to eat Naoshi!

Darksage: We were only joking!

Shadowstrike: Don’t worry, they won’t leave us, they like us too much. *turns to the jet* Right guys?

*the three watch the others take off in the jet with Naoshi on board*

Shadowstrike: I guess they would leave us.

Ben: Damn them!

Darksage: They left us again.

Shadowstrike: It’s all right, we still have the UFO.

*they look over to the UFO, just in time to see it blow up*

Darksage: I think Ben took care of that.

Ben: Sorry, I had to vent.

Shadowstrike: Great, now we need to find a way to get back.

Darksage: We can hijack the Lobe’s copter, it’s not like he’ll be using it anytime soon.

Shadowstrike: What will we tell Wily about the UFO?

Ben: Just make some crap up.

Darksage: We’ll just have to think of someone to blame it on.

Shadowstrike: Hmm, how about Cave Guy?

Darksage: Works for me.

Shortly after they leave the warehouse…

Freakazoid: Aw, nut bunnies! The world’s dumbest cow is gone, and I was so looking forward to it.

Cosgrove: Cheer up kid, there will be more brainless livestock to see soon.

Freakazoid: I hope you’re right Cosgrove.

Cosgrove: Hey Freakazoid, do you want to leave here and go watch a Canadian cloud man eat a quadruple decker fudgie sundae at the Ice Cream Palace two towns over?

Freakazoid: DO I?!

Later, back in Wily’s lab…

Dr. Wily: *pours serum on Naoshi* This should do it. It worked on Bass.

Starnik: Really? What was he?

Bass: You don’t want to know…never want to know…

Naoshi: *back as Metalman* That was fun!

Dr. Wily: Now can you please keep him out of trouble.

Cyros: We’ll try our best.

Naoshi: What should I do now?

Starnik: Whatever, I don’t care.

Naoshi: Cool, I’ll go out and play with cars! *leaves*

All: *stare at Starnik*

Starnik: What?

*Shadowstrike, Darksage and Ben walk in*

Shadowstrike: Was that the genius back in his old form we walked past?

Iga: Yeah, it is.

Darksage: I guess it’s another meatless Tuesday.

Cyros: It serves you right.

Starnik: I don’t care, all I know is I better get all the respect I deserve after saving the day.

Ben: I’m happy you mentioned that, horn head. I have a little matter to discuss with you concerning a gas station. *cracks knuckles*

Starnik: It was a joke! So what if I made you listen to probably three or four choruses of the Gasigo song?

Ben: Try sixteen!

Starnik: Ok, bad point. Come on, can’t we just talk it out?

Ben: Try talking your way out of this!

*Ben throws a full vial at Starnik, breaking and spilling its contents onto the scarlet speedster*

Starnik: I hope this doesn’t ruin my beautiful complexion!

*Starnik turns into a lamp post, the latest edition of People magazine, Paula Abdul, a sack of jelly beans, and finally, a Torchic*

Starnik: *as a Torchic* Torchic?


Ben, Darksage and Shadowstrike: A POULTRY!

*Starnik bolts through the doorway, with the three carnivores and the poke-maniac running after*

Dr. Wily: Woodman and Bubbleman, get Quickman back here this instant!

Iga: Can it wait? We had a long day.

Aku: There’s also antidote left too.

Starnik: *running in the hall* TORCHIC!

Ben: *running by * I claim the breast!

Darksage: *running* I’ll take the thighs and legs!

Shadowstrike: *running* Why do I get stuck with the wings?!

Cyros: *after all of them* Come back little Torchick, come back!

Iga: *sighs* It’s never a dull moment.

Aku: I’m starting to realize that.