Wilys Warriors - Season 2 - Oh No, There Goes Tokyo! (Part One)
by Flash Man
Starnik as Quick Man
Darksage as Crash Man
Ben as Heat Man
Cyros as Flash Man
Cinder as Bubble Man
Naoshi as Metal Man
Shadowstrike as Air Man
Iga as Wood Man
Narrator: Thanks to a crooked legal system, the evil Dr. Wily now has ownership of Wily’s Warriors! Who knows what kind of nefarious tasks he has cooked up for our heroes?
Cyros: *screws in a light bulb* Okay, how many is that so far?
Cinder: Last time I checked, that was bulb number thirty.
Cyros: So… how many do we have left to do?
Shadowstrike: *looks in the box* Judging by the economy sized box of light bulbs and the corridors of this fortress… a hell of a lot.
(The three bots look down the very long and dark hallway in front of them)
Shadowstrike: I second that.
Cyros: *grabs another bulb and climbs up the ladder* Okay, I knew Wily was cheap, but he still uses 60 watt bulbs to light up his fortress? And on top of that, he made it MY duty to change them all?
Shadowstrike: Well, you ARE “Flash” Man.
Cyros: That still doesn’t make any sense. If I was Bright Man, yes it would, but he’s not a Wily bot.
Shadowstrike: Well, just think that it can’t- *get’s hit with a light bulb* OW!
Cyros: *narrows his eyes* I dare you to finish that thought. I DARE you…
(Just then, Bass shows up and stares down the three robot masters)
Bass: Hey, scrap heaps!
Cinder: Eh? What do you want?
Bass: The old man wants us for something! So get moving!
Cyros: *muttering* Better than screwing in these stupid bulbs…
(Time passes by and we find the Warriors and Bass in the auditorium of Skull Castle. Wily is on the stage at a podium, looking all important like)
Dr. Wily: Attention, my loyal mechanical creations-
Ben: Loyal my ass!
Dr. Wily: *ignores BEN* I have gathered you here today to reveal my newest plans for world domination!
Naoshi: *raises hand* Um…
Dr. Wily: Grr… what is it!?
Naoshi: This wouldn’t happen to be like the other time when we tried to hypnotize Chuck E. Cheese, is it?
Dr. Wily: *quickly* NO! And never bring that up again!
Shadowstrike: Yeah, I still have nightmares from that day.
Starnik: Oh boy, that was a fun experience… *munches on some popcorn*
Dr. Wily: Hey! Where the hell did you get that?
Starnik: Over there.
(Starnik points to the edge of the auditorium, where Mr. Whiz has set up a popcorn stand)
Mr. Whiz: Popcorn, popcorn, five bucks a bag!
Starnik: *munches* For a reverse colored clone, he sure knows how to make a snack…
Dr. Wily: … *presses a button on his podium*
Mr. Whiz: Wait, wasn’t that the- *is sent flying as his stand explodes*
Starnik: Holy- *is frozen in place by a freeze ray*
Dr. Wily: Well? Does anyone else have any smart-ass comments before I continue?
Darksage: …no, we’re good.
(Wily snickers and pulls up a Power Point presentation with the words “Evil Plan #903-A84” followed by a bunch of images of… Pokémon?)
Dr. Wily: I’m sure you all are aware of the worldwide franchise known as Pokémon, yes?
All Warriors but Cyros: *groan*
Cyros: *perplexed* …yeah. Who hasn’t?
Dr. Wily: Well, good! *changes slides* It just so happens that years back, an episode of the Pokémon anime was released in Japan that eventually caused a large number of children to be sent to the hospital. As a result, it was banned worldwide, and the only remaining copy locked in vault, never to see the screen again!
Naoshi: Wow. I know the show is terrible, but-
Cyros: WRONG. That statement is WRONG.
Naoshi: But it’s the-
Cyros: WRONG. Wrongwrongwrong!
Naoshi: *puzzled* Okay…
Darksage: Besides, the episode in question actually contained a scene in which there was an alternating series of red and blue flashes, changing back and forth at a frequency that was able to send many human minds into a state of bedlam!
Iga: Whoa! I thought I was the only one who knew that!
Darksage: …it’s on Wikipedia, you know.
Iga: Aw… so much for feeling special.
Dr. Wily: FOCUS! *clears throat* Anyway, there lies my plan; we break into the vault that contains that very episode, then I can use my spy satellites to broadcast it all over the world, only increasing the frequency of the flashing to bring the entire world to their knees!
Bass: …that’s it. THAT’S your plan?
Dr. Wily: Of course. *smiles evilly* It’s genius isn’t it.
Bass: …why the hell do I still hang out with you?
Dr. Wily: Because I own all your asses!
Starnik: So wait a minute. This vault thing… this is in Tokyo, right?
Dr. Wily: Well duh.
Starnik: As in, Tokyo, Japan?
Ben: If there is another Tokyo in the world, I’d like to know about it…
Starnik: *breaks out of the ice and cheers* WOO-HOO! The Warriors are going to Japan!
(Starnik runs off to pack his bags, only to enter the minefield in the exit corridor. Explosions and cries of pain are heard)
Dr. Wily: *grinning* Hehehe… now that you know what to do, get back to work! And be ready to depart tomorrow morning, no excuses!
Iga: Then shouldn’t we get a break before we leave then?
(Wily presses another button on his podium and a flamethrower fires from the ceiling and hits Iga)
Iga: AIEIEIEIEIEIE! *runs off, and steps on the mines of the same corridor Starnik ran down*
Cyros: Screw that, I’m going back to the light bulbs.
Shadowstrike and Cinder: We’ll join you!
Darksage: *sighs* Come on, Metal, let’s go see if we can salvage whatever is left of Starnik and Iga.
Naoshi: Err, right.
Narrator: Soon, time passes and the Warriors are soon to depart to the land of the rising sun. But before then, let’s go check on a certain house, shall we?
Telephone: RING RING RING RING, PHONECALL PHONECALL, RING RING RING RING-
Delia Ketchum: Ash, could you get that please?
Ash: Sure thing mom! Come on, Pikachu.
*We find Ash Ketchum inside his home walking toward the video phone, Pikachu on his shoulder. As he picks up the receiver, the screen displays a “NO VISUAL AVAILABLE” message*
Ash: That’s weird… *holds receiver to ear* Um, hello?
???: *deep voice* Ash Ketchum, I presume…
Ash: *surprised* Wha? How do you know my name?
???: *deep voice* That is not important right now. What is important is what I have to tell you and what you need to do for tomorrow.
Ash: *confused* …okay. Just who are you anyway?
???: *deep chuckle* One of your fans…
Narrator: And so, the day passes on both sides of the world. As the sun rises on Tokyo, Japan, we find our “heroes” along with Wily and Bass in an abandoned industrial district on the outskirts of the city.
Dr. Wily: *peeved* That had to be worst trans-continental flight I ever had to ride on in disguise.
Darksage: Personally, I think it would have gone better if Starnik didn’t have to be restrained for screaming like a lunatic.
Starnik: I’m telling you, there were snakes on the mother @#*$ing plane!
Ben: And people think I’M insane.
Darksage: And it would have been even better if Metal didn’t set off the metal detectors at the airport…
(Flashback to the Megapolis airport, where Wily, Bass and the Warriors are in disguise. Naoshi steps through the arch and sets off the alarm)
Security Guard: Sir, I’m going to ask you to remove all metal objects on your person.
Naoshi: Uh… I can’t.
Security Guard: And why… is that?
Naoshi: Because I’m a robot?
Security Guard: That’s what they all say. Come with me-
Dr. Wily: Oh dear god, that child has a weapon! *points to a little five year old with a giant lollipop*
Child: Huh? *holds up lollipop*
Security Guard: Oh dear god! *takes out radio* Get backup! We have a situation here!
(Various security guards tackle the poor child as Wily and the others board their plane. The flashback ends and we return to the group)
Dr. Wily: Listen up you idiots! Bass and I are going to scout out the security for the building the vault is in. I don’t care what you morons do, just go off and do whatever until I call you! And keep a low profile! I don’t want the police to get wise to us!
Bass: Yeah, or it’ll be double beatings when we get back home.
Shadowstrike: Wait, you’ve never beaten us. Well, me at least.
Naoshi: Only one who beats me is- *get’s punched by Shadowstrike* OW! Him…
Dr. Wily: Just stay out of trouble, you stupid robots. Come on Bass, we have work to do!
(Bass and Wily head off, leaving the Warriors on their own)
Darksage: …we’re alone. In Japan. Unsupervised.
Starnik: Well, what shall we do first?
Ben: I know what WE are doing, quick boy. *drags Starnik away by the boomerang, laughing evilly*
Starnik: Ow ow ow ow! My brain! *disappears along with BEN*
Naoshi: Shouldn’t someone follow him to see what he’s, um… planning?
Iga: No way. Starnik is on his own now…
Cyros: Fat chance. Cinder, you go trail BEN and Starnik.
Cinder: Me? Why me?
Cyros: Because you possess his weakness. Obviously.
Cinder: Yeah, but-
Naoshi: He’s got a point. You make sure Starnik stays alive.
Cinder: *sighs* Fine. Hopefully I’ll see you guys later.
(Cinder walks off, leaving the remaining five robots)
Shadowstrike: Well, now what?
Darksage: We should do something… but what?
Cyros: What do you mean “what?” This is Tokyo man! Did you even realize the amount of stuff you can find here?!
Iga: Well, I’ve been on the lookout for some rare games to play while Wily plans his next scheme.
Naoshi: I want to visit an arcade and DDR till the cows come home!
Shadowstrike: Now why the hell would we want to see you dance like an idiot?
Naoshi: You’re a jerk.
Shadowstrike: I try.
Cyros: Okay, we have an idea of what to do, so let’s get going before Wily decides to contact us.
Darksage: Well then, shall we?
Naoshi: Let’s-a go!
Shadowstrike: Shut up! *punches Naoshi*
Naoshi: Ow, my face!
Cyros: Can you leave the kid alone for more than five minutes?
Shadowstrike: Let me think about that… *thinks* Nope!
Darksage: *sighs* We’ll have our hands full enough with just these two…
Narrator: Let us go check on our resident psychopath, lazy leader and their friend, shall we?
Starnik: *breaks out of Ben’s grip* God, you didn’t need to drag me, like, one hundred meters!
Starnik: That’s all you can say? “Meh”?
Starnik: You’re doing this to piss me off, aren’t yah?
Ben: Uh huh.
(Cinder runs up after the two)
Cinder: *gasps* Oh god! It’s so hard *gasps* to run with these flipper feet!
Ben: …why the hell are you breathing?
Cinder: Huh? …oh wait. Damn.
Starnik: Remembered that you don’t breathe, right?
Cinder: Shut up. What are we doing anyway?
Ben: Isn’t it obvious? We’re going to find what Japan is most famous for-
Ben: *irritated* No!
Starnik: Scantily clad schoolgirls?
Ben: *angrily* NO!
Ben: *grabs Cinder and Starnik by the throats* MONSTERS!! WE’RE GOING TO FIND A GODDAMN MONSTER!!!
(Ben receives stares from various passersby)
Ben: *drops his friends and forms fireballs in his hand* What’re you pricks looking at?!
Passersby: O_O; *flee from Ben*
Cinder: My, aren’t you a social one?
Ben: You wanna be the first to get cooked, scuba boy?
Cinder: *quickly* No.
Starnik: *thinking* This is going to be a long day…
Narrator: Now we join our main collection of misfits as they-
Darksage: Hold the phone! Misfits we ain’t!
Narrator: Well my word is law, and I say you’re misfits!
Naoshi: Shut it! *hits Narrator with a Metal Blade*
Narrator: Oh god! Blarghhhhhhhhgrrrrruggle… *dies*
Cyros: How… how was that even possible?
Naoshi: Err, just don’t worry about it. That’s what I do.
Shadowstrike: Alright, I think we’re lost.
Cyros: Lost? Yeah right! I know exactly where we are!
Iga: So, which way to the nearest pizza place?
Cyros: …I don’t know.
Shadowstrike: Lost, I tells yah!
Darksage: No problem, we just have to ask someone for directions.
Iga: Won’t some recognize our faces, though?
Shadowstrike: …you’re kidding me, right?
(Just then, a strange flying turtle lands on Iga’s head)
Iga: …did a turtle just fly onto my head?
Naoshi: Careful, it might have rabies!
Cyros: I don’t think turtles can get rabies. But still, we should try to get it off.
Iga: Naw, I think it likes me! *pets Tama-chan* Nice flying sea reptile!
Mutsumi: *in Japanese* <Tama-chan, heel!>
(Tama-chan flies off Iga’s head, then goes back to a pair of girls)
Naru: <I swear, that turtle is nothing but trouble sometimes…>
Cyros: Whoa… cute Japanese chicks!
Mutsumi: <Um, I beg your pardon? We can’t understand you very well.>
Darksage: …OH SNAP!
Naru: *startled* Na, nani?
Darksage: Yo, what the hell man?
Cyros: I just figured out that none of us know how to speak Japanese!
Shadowstrike: What’s to know? I mean, don’t we have translation software or something?
Cyros: If you count Bablefish as translation software. *turns it on and faces Naru* Go on, say something.
Naru: *Bablefish translation* Saying you do not understand I and I.
Mutsumi: *Bablefish translation* And why like the bad guy of Rock Man, it wore the clothes completely, it is?
Naoshi: …I think my brain just broke.
Cyros: *turns off translator* My point exactly.
Naru: *to Mutsumi* <What is with these American guys? It’s so hard to understand them.>
Mutsumi: <I agree. We should have studied our English a little better.>
(Meanwhile, the five robots huddle and try to figure out what to do)
Cyros: Okay, so we have no way of talking with the native language, so we’ll have to find someone who speaks both languages fluently.
Darksage: I agree. Where should we start looking though?
Shadowstrike: That’s easy!
Iga: Wait, this doesn’t involve any shouting, does it?
Shadowstrike: No… Maybe… Yes.
Naoshi: My, what great plans you have, fan boy- GAH!
(Shadowstrike takes Naoshi up in a firm grip with his left arm, and prepares to-)
???: <Naru! Mutsumi!>
Naru: *looking up* <Finally! Where did you go off to, Urashima?>
(A young adult male with black hair and glasses walks up to the girls, a look of embarrassment on his face)
Keitaro: <Sorry I was late, but the others-> *spots the Warriors* <Huh? Who’re these guys?>
Darksage: For some reason… they all look familiar.
Cyros: Eh, you’re just being paranoid. *thinking* Got to keep up my own illusions as well…
Keitaro: <Are they American?> *walks up to Cyros* Um, hello there. Can we help you with something?
Shadowstrike: *surprised* Holy crap! He can speak English!
Keitaro: Uh… yeah. *sweat drops* So can you, apparently.
Cyros: *pushes Shadowstrike aside* Forgive my friend here, he gets excited very easily. And to tell you the truth, we are on vacation but a little lost, Mr…
Keitaro: Keitaro Urashima. And you are… in strange costumes.
Cyros: Oh yes, we’re big fans of the Rock Man franchise. Don’t worry; we are still normal people on the inside.
Darksage: *whispers to Naoshi* Very clever ploy he thought up.
Naru: <Keitaro, what are they talking about?>
Keitaro: Um, one second guys. *turns to Naru* <They say they’re tourists who are lost and could use some help.>
Mutsumi: <Oh, maybe they would like to travel with us for a while!>
Naru: *groans* <But this was supposed to be our day off! I don’t want to have to baby-sit a bunch of weirdoes that look like B-movie rejects!>
Iga: Eh, what did she say?
Keitaro: *sighs, then turns to the Warriors* She said she would have any problem with you guys hanging with us for as while. *turns to Naru* <That won’t be a problem, right?>
Naru: <Gah! You are impossible, Urashima!> *crosses her arms in defeat*
Cyros: Something tells me she isn’t happy with us tagging along.
Shadowstrike: Who cares, we have a guide now!
Naoshi: I still want to know where the nearest arcade is!
Keitaro: Arcade? Well some of my other companions are at one right now, and we were just going to head on over there
Shadowstrike: Oh great, now we have to watch him dance like a buffoon.
Cyros: Well then Keitaro, lead the way.
Iga: Hey, can the turtle rest on my head on the way? I think it likes me!
Keitaro: You mean Tama-chan? *to Mutsumi* <Mutsumi, would Tama-chan mind resting on his head?>
Mutsumi: <Well, if he’s not bothered by her, sure!>
Tama-chan: Myu! *flies toward Iga and lands on his flat head*
Iga: Ah, so cute...
Naoshi: Neat little flying turtle!
Shadowstrike: Oh dear god…
Darksage: Enough already! *taps the screen* Go check on the others, will yah?
(We change scenes to Tokyo bay, where we find Starnik, Ben and Cinder in a small rental boat)
Cinder: Okay, I’m not liking this idea guys.
Ben: Like you have a choice in the matter. Keep in mind you’re the only one of us that can swim.
Starnik: He’s right, you know.
Cinder: But you want me to find Godzilla. God-freaking-zilla! What if he finds me edible?
Starnik: Edible? You? *laughs*
Ben: Now shut up and jump in the water yah pansy!
Cinder: *crosses arms* Make me.
(Starnik and Ben look at each other, nod, then proceed to grab Cinder and haul him overboard)
Cinder: *struggling* Let me go! This is abuse! Battery! Assault!
Starnik: Down you go! *spins around and tosses Bubble overboard* Bon voyage!
Cinder: Ahhhhhhhhhhh- *SPLASH!*
Ben: Now don’t come back till you find us a whale ape! *sits back in a lawn chair with a can of beer*
Starnik: *sits back in another lawn chair* Now THIS is a vacation!
(Below the boat, Cinder grumbles as he swims through the waters of Tokyo Bay)
Cinder: *grumbles* Stupid Wily, brining us to Japan over a stupid Pokémon episode… stupid Starnik and Ben, sending me to my doom… stupid Cyros, sending me after them in the first place…
(Because he wasn’t looking where he was going, he bumps into a small rock with his flipper. As he continues to swim on, something moves and slowly follows him)
(The screen goes into static, and we find ourselves facing a cloaked figure)
???: *deep voice* It seems we have reached the end of the first part of our little adventure… Our friendly Warriors are split nearly in two, and Wily is still at large, ready to strike. But really, would you really expect him to succeed under any circumstances? Stay tuned for the conclusion…
Mr. Whiz: Am I going to show up again?
???: *deep voice* …no.
Mr. Whiz: Damnit!
To be continued!