Wilys Warriors - Episode 3 -I Think I'm Turning Kitsune

by Ben

Saturday Morning at the Wilys Warriors Compound…

Air Man: Oh God Pointy! Do you have to watch TV in your boxer shorts?

Pointy: So sue me for being comfortable!

Air Man: Well Koala has a way to make you get some clothes on…

Pointy: And that is…?

(Koala opens the window)

Koala: Come one, come all and see the very sexy Metal Man in his underwear! Only a buck a peep!

(A crowd of people starts flocking around the window)

Pointy: ACK! I'm going to my room…

Air Man: Finally he's gone…

Koala: And got $30 out of it too. Another job done for…

Air Man and Koala: The Marsupial Brothers!

Koala: Now to watch the Bikini Mud Wrestling Championship on the Crappy Sports Network.

After a while Pharon notices something…

Air Man: Did you see that?

Koala: Yeah, that chick's bikini top fell off, this is sweet!

Air Man: No! The TV it's floating!

Koala: (Notices) what the heck? Is Ben here this has to be one of his gadgets.

Air Man: But Ben's out patrolling the city… (Suddenly the TV thrown at him) OW! ZORCH! OW! I'm being electrocuted (ZAP!) Pull! (BST!) The plug! (ZOP!) YOU IDIOT!

Koala: Right away… (Tries to make it to the plug in but a bottle of whiskey smashes on his chest) Wha?

(A fox with three tails appears)

Fox: Hello! (Throws a fireball and Koala bursts into flames)

Koala: AHHHHHH! (Runs around)

Fox: (Snickers and back flips towards the stairs before disappearing)

Meanwhile in the bathroom…

Starnik: (Rolls eyes) I don't wanna know… (Looks at his reflection) Damn you look handsome…

(Starnik pulls out a bag of Ben's gadgets and puts on the special rings)

Starnik: Oh look I'm Ben, I depend on gadgets to be a hero, Look! I'm flying! Whee! (Notices dozens of cans of shaving cream floating) Huh…?

PLOOM!

(From outside the hall, shaving cream explodes from the door and sprays over Shadowblade)

Shadowblade: Oy, this is just peachy.

(Shadowblade hears a knocking on Crash's door)

Crash Man: Help me! I'm trapped in my room!

Shadowblade: I'm coming!

(Meanwhile in Toasta's room)

Toasta: Man, I need to get dressed for my hot date today… (Looks at his picture of Cindy then opens his closet and gasps) My wardrobe it's been replaced by… woman's clothing…

(Suddenly the fox appears yet again and at super-speed dresses Toasta in a Cashmere sweater with a matching skirt and high heel shoes)

Fox: Tee hee! (Leaps out the window)

Toasta: (Tries to take them off but they're super-glued on) NOOOOOOOOOO!

And so at the foot of the stairs Wilys Warriors meet…

Starnik: (Covered head to foot with Shaving Cream) okay does anyone know what is happening here?

Koala: This fox came and…

Toasta: (Stomps out of his room) the same fox that dressed me in this?

Warriors:  (Look at Toasta and start laughing)

Toasta: It's not funny damn it!

Warriors: (Continue laughing)

Toasta: You're all a bunch of f***heads you now that?

Starnik: Sorry, but damn you got it worse.

Crash Man: Someone changed the doorknobs for my room and I was stuck in my room until Shadowblade saved me.

Shadowblade: Yeah and a fox did all this?

Crash Man: It can't be there are no bipedal foxes nor are there any that have three tails, we all must be sharing the same psychotic episode. I suggest we all get some group therapy.

Starnik: (Twitch) What did you say?

Pointy: He said group therapy…

Starnik: Remember when we had group therapy on Dr. Phil?

(Flashback)

Dr. Phil: Welcome back to Dr. Phil, today we have the super-team known as Wilys Warriors who are having problems. They biggest feud between them is between leadership candidates Starnik and Ben, so we're going to have a heart to heart. Remember boys, just talk to each other and don't look at the crowd or me.

Starnik: Ben I wish you'd stop goring the team when we make fun of you and your gadgets.

Ben: And you're an egotistical ass…

Dr. Phil: Hey! No name-calling gentlemen…

Starnik: What do you mean?

Ben: You think you're greatest and I HATE YOU! (Starts strangling Starnik)

Starnik: ACK! HELP ME!

Dr. Phil: Stop it!

Starnik: See Dr. Phil? He's a complete psycho!

Ben: PSYCHO? I'LL SHOW YOU A PSYCHO! (With a right hook, slugs Starnik)

Starnik: Why you! (Spin Kicks Ben)

Ben: (Unphased with the killer look in his eyes)Grrrrrrrrrrrr...

Dr. Phil: That was un-called for…

Ben: BACK OFF FAT ASS!

Shadowblade: (Sigh)

Crash Man: Dr. Phil, when Ben says back off you'd better…

Dr. Phil: I'll take your word for it.

(Meanwhile Ben is pummeling Starnik mercilessly)

Starnik: Aren't you guys going to help me?

Pointy: Help you? This is too entertaining…

(Ben then lights Starnik on fire and Starnik runs off the stage)

Dr. Phil: Apparently there are some problems I can't fix, next we have a woman who has issues with her cat…

(End Flashback)

Crash Man: Just when we forget about these incidents…

Pointy: Where is Ben anyway?

Air Man: On patrol.

Crash Man: Well as Ben isn't with us therapy we should be fine.

Toasta: And Starnik won't have to be scared of having Ben beating the shit out of him.

Starnik: Aw shaddup.

And so at the Shrink…

Shrink: So Toasta, tell me about your mother…

Toasta: Dr. Wily built me you idiot!

Shrink: Did he get into crossdressing?

Toasta: Jeez! This was a prank played on me.

Shrink: Right… (Scribbles something down)

Crash Man: Doctor, with this fox are we just hallucinating?

Shrink: Hurm? Yeah it must be.

Starnik: Damn it! Were paying you $1200 for this session and we better get our money's worth.

Shrink: Okay, you guys have been inactive for…

Pointy: Three months.

Shadowblade: Well, the only villain we have is Alien Wily and his gang.

Shrink: Maybe out of this boredom you are having this episodes to "spice up" your lives a bit.

Crash Man: Makes sense.

Shrink: Now if you excuse it's time for my lunch break.

Air Man: But it's only 10:30 in the morning…

Koala: And we've only been here for 5 minutes!

Shrink: Hey look it's a super-villain!  

(Wilys Warriors turn their heads)

Shrink: Yoink! (Runs off)

Starnik: Yoink?

Koala: Jeez! That jack*** just up and left us!

Starnik: Now I wish Ben were here…

And so on the way back home…

Starnik: Oh great Crash! "Let's get therapy" and we get a nickel's worth of advice for over a 1000 bucks.

Crash Man: Oh shut up Starnik, it wasn't like you had any better ideas…

Pointy: Um, Crash is that your car? (Points)

(Crash's car speeds up the road mowing over mailboxes, shrubs and the odd fire hydrant before hitting a street light)

Crash Man: MY CAR! (sob)

Koala: It wasn't like you could drive it anyway.

Crash Man: (Sob) but I loved that car…

Shadowblade: (Sees the fox) It's him again!

(The fox disappears again)

Starnik: Oh great, another episode.

???: Not quite.

Warriors: (Turn around) BEN?

Ben: What?

Starnik: Oh just surprised to see you.

Crash Man: Any insight into who our little prankster is?

Ben: He's a 200-year old kitsune.

Warriors: Kitsune?

Ben: A fox spirit from Japanese mythology, they eat energy and grow a new tail every 100 years. This one seems to enjoy playing pranks; by the way he has a good sense of fashion. (Looks at Johnny)

Toasta: ARGH!

Crash Man: What do you suggest we do?

Ben: Give him a lot of E-Tanks and he'll leave you alone. Well I'm off to patrol the city again… (Flies off)

Crash Man: What do you guys think?

Shadowblade: Sounds crazy enough to work.

Starnik: Then it's settled, we catch the kitsune with our stockpile of E-Tanks.

So back at the compound…

Pointy: There's our entire stock of E-Tanks.

Koala: What do we do next?

Crash Man: we just wait till he arrives.

Shadowblade: Actually we don't.

Crash Man: What?

(The Warriors turn around to see Pyro downed they're entire supply of E-Tanks)

Warriors: 0_0 HOLY CRAP!

Air Man: It took us months to get all those E-Tanks!

Starnik: …and he drank them all in less than 2 seconds!

Fox: Burp!

Koala: How cute!

(The Fox gets all starry-eyed)

Starnik: What the? HUMPH! (The fox hugs his face smothering him)

Toasta: Don't worry I'll squash him for you… (Brings out the bat)

(Toasta attempts to smash the kitsune with the bat but the fox dodges and hits Starnik instead)

Starnik: OW! (The fox stays at the top of his head)

(Toasta makes another attempt but the fox jumps onto Koala and the blow knocks out Starnik)

Starnik: X_X

Koala: Can we keep him?

Fox: Hey! I'm no pet!

Koala: It talks!

Fox: Of course I do and my name isn't "It", it's Pyro.

Crash Man: Well, Pyro. Why were you playing pranks on us?

Pyro: My bowling night was canceled so I decided do something to pass the time. Now I'm going to stick with you guys.

Shadowblade: What? Stay with us?

Pyro: By giving me a gift you instantly bonded with me. So you're stuck with me whether you like it or not.

Warriors: (Sigh) -_-

Crash Man: Well it looks like we've acquired a new ally in the fight against evil.

Pointy: But when will we get more villains?

The Olsen Twins: Wilys Warriors! We must annihilate you to become the media darlings we once were.

Crash Man: Pointy? Ever heard of the cliché "be careful what you wish for?"

Pointy: Heh heh? ^^*

END